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Feel like I've wasted time

#1
So... I am 24. Ever since I hit it, I'm no longer 2 years away from being 21, and in my mind therefore, no longer a young adult. I have not begun any of my goals and am relying on family Christmas money (which I'm lucky to still get) and stimulus money to afford my first apartment, where I plan to live while working a full time job and attending some school. Ever since I hit my current age, I feel really messed up like I have wasted over 5 years and all that I have gotten out of it is 2 failed attempts at success. Both were at trying to do something small and ease slowly into a successful position, both times I felt overwhelmed. Therefore, I feel like in the future I should really give my all into something that'll take up a significant amount of my time, that way sleeping and avoiding doesn't become a desirable alternative.

After a later encounter with the police where I could have died, all because I had a delusion that something I owned counted as a weapon and I felt like I had to tell someone, I have felt like I really hit rock bottom.

None of my family is supportive of my decision to move where I want to move to, and only one family member is supportive of my decision to live off benefits. I really feel like I have been blessed with benefits and can use them as a way to get away somewhere far away from where I currently live and have lived all my life. Too many connections that are holding me back...

Anyway though, does anyone else struggle with this massive guilt for having not accomplished anything for a certain amount of time? I guess my less-than-a-month of college and 2 months of work count as something, it's just not comparable to the feeling of graduating a year of high school.
 

johnDoen

Outsider in the Realm of Lost and Found
#2
I know my situation is different but I've never achieved anything significant. I guess, in a sense, I can relate to you.
I dropped out of college when I hit my darkest days of panics and depressions. No one supported me when I told them I wanted to kill myself, even the therapist I visited during the peaks of those days.

Well, fuck it. I have my life and I'll move on with it, regardless of supports nor helps from others. So, I decide to avoid or spend less time with those who I deem toxic and keep dragging me down.

I guess what you are feeling right now is telling you to do what you need to be yourself more.
 

MosesY

Recovering Alcoholic
SF Supporter
#3
Most people never accomplish anything significant. I would make one exception to this; their relationship with their family and their friends and their children is significant, and in a tremendous way. Your relationship with other people, to pay attention to them, listen to their hurts, comfort them, do things for them, is what life is all about.
 

Lane

SF Supporter
#4
Most people never accomplish anything significant. I would make one exception to this; their relationship with their family and their friends and their children is significant, and in a tremendous way. Your relationship with other people, to pay attention to them, listen to their hurts, comfort them, do things for them, is what life is all about.
Maybe we're born to protect our planet, help others, and possibly create or leave record (that's what humans do, ha).
 
#5
Ever since I hit my current age, I feel really messed up like I have wasted over 5 years and all that I have gotten out of it is 2 failed attempts at success.
Anyway though, does anyone else struggle with this massive guilt for having not accomplished anything for a certain amount of time?
I think a lot of people have felt you are currently feeling - guilty or maybe disappointed because they didn't achieve something they feel like they should have. I also have felt guilty for wasting time in the past. An important thing to remember is that you can still achieve your goals and accomplish what you want, even if you have wasted some time in the past.

I thinks @MosesY is also right. Just because you are able to accomplish material/career things e.g. a nice job, more money, it doesn't mean you will necessarily be happy. So, even if you don't accomplish the material things you wish to accomplish, you can still live a fulfilling and happy life.

I hope you can feel a bit better. Hang in there, you can feel better soon. Sending hugs *brohug.
 
#6
Yeah I wish I could keep in touch with friends better but I have to stay off social media for personal reasons and never bothered to get anyone's phone number before deleting, so things will probably still be pretty lonely while getting ready to move. I think I am going to try to get a job at maybe a gas station or something, something I can work on my skills at that's not strictly food service. That way I can feel more confident about pursuing an apartment independently. I agree that it is important to build strong relationships. And definitely that happiness comes from within and such. Thanks all.
 

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