You know its actually quite funny. I remember coming on here and reading about people who were depressed because a loved one left them. I would sit there and think "Ha thats nothing compared to the pain of never having anyone". But now i know the truth. My first real just relationship ended. I really cared for her and now she's gone. And this pain is so much worse. I would give anything to go back to the dull pain of lifelong lonliness than what I feel now. It just hurts so fucking much. Im a fucking mess. The bridge is looking really tempting right now. I cant fucking take this.