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Feel myself slipping

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I was so happy to get out of hospital but now I just caught myself trying to reason how my kids would be better off without me or at least ok. I went four days without a bad thought and hoped I was getting better. Is the honeymoon over? I really want to be better. My wife is in prison, kids at grandmas, and I am at a friends house. Very tire of being alone. My happy thought are failing me. I desperately want to see my counselor because I need someone I can talk with safely and hope my insurance gets straightened out soon. Until then I will hang on to this thread I am dangling from and hope it does not break and let me fall. I don't think I will be as lucky as I was in the past. I just want the pain to end. Trying to be strong but I feel weaker every day. God help me please.

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
I hun hold on okay call your therapist leave a msg to see if you can get a appt soon Call crisis line for now okay and talk they care they will help you hold on. You children need you and will always need you so please know with help you can get better meds might need to be increased some thats all here if you ever just want to talk okay hugs
do you want to talk about why you feel suicidal in the first place. about your wife? about your kids?

if you don't have insurance, you might want to apply for medicaid if you are eligible. I think that they will also cover bills from x amount of time from your application.

you can talk to us here, and you can also call a suicide crisis line if you want to.

there's things that you can do on your own that can help you feel better. getting a 1/2 hour of gentle aerobic exercise everyday can help. A brisk walk getting some fresh air and sunshine might be good.

oh, I also think the book in my sig is good.

I hope that you are able to get through this!
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