Feel so alone...

[fms]

I just feel so alone right now.
Like everyone's leaving me.
I know that's silly.
I know that they're getting on with their own lives because their young and just because I don't have any hope for MY future, doesn't mean everyone else's life stands still...
But my best friend has just moved to Florida for 8 months (I live in Scotland). I've known her for 12 years, and have never gone so long without seeing her before. I'm going to miss her so much. We said our goodbyes last night and I've just been crying non-stop since. And no one else understands. They say I should be happy for her. And I am. She was given an amazing opportunity and she took it, but I just miss her, that's all...
Is that allowed?
Also, another close friend is moving to London for college in September. It just feels like I'm watching everyone around me disappearing while I'm stuck in the same place, not wanting to do anything with my life, not wanting to make anything of myself, and I want to get better!
I do want to...
But I'm so scared. I'm scared that they will try and help me, but can't... I'm scared that I am.. 'incureable'. I'm scared that my parents will find out, because let's be honest, they're not the most supportive. I'm just... I can't bring myself to go and get help... I really can't.. :sad:

 

[~Claire]

Hey Fiona,

What is stopping you from seeking help? It's a big step to reach out but sometimes we need that little extra bit of help to get our life back on track. And you've already reached out to us here.

It's ok to miss your friends & even be a little bit jealous of what they're doing, but life will get better for you & one day you will want to experience the same things as your friends.

:hug: xx

 

[fromthatshow]

I just feel so alone right now.
Like everyone's leaving me.
I know that's silly.
I know that they're getting on with their own lives because their young and just because I don't have any hope for MY future, doesn't mean everyone else's life stands still...
But my best friend has just moved to Florida for 8 months (I live in Scotland). I've known her for 12 years, and have never gone so long without seeing her before. I'm going to miss her so much. We said our goodbyes last night and I've just been crying non-stop since. And no one else understands. They say I should be happy for her. And I am. She was given an amazing opportunity and she took it, but I just miss her, that's all...
Is that allowed?
Also, another close friend is moving to London for college in September. It just feels like I'm watching everyone around me disappearing while I'm stuck in the same place, not wanting to do anything with my life, not wanting to make anything of myself, and I want to get better!
I do want to...
But I'm so scared. I'm scared that they will try and help me, but can't... I'm scared that I am.. 'incureable'. I'm scared that my parents will find out, because let's be honest, they're not the most supportive. I'm just... I can't bring myself to go and get help... I really can't.. :sad:

I guess I'll start from the bottom up. No one is incurable, so you don't have to worry about that. There is an answer for everyone, though it might not be the same.
And of course that's allowed that you'll miss your friends. I mean it's not like you've lost their friendship but I'm assuming you're feeling it as loss, and I'm sorry :hug:
Finally, you are not alone. Although physically you could be in a room alone, you're not alone in your feelings. You're not alone because you're here, and others care about you. I don't even know you, but just because you're here, I care, and you're not alone now.
I see you've only got 12 posts. I hope you stick around so your feeling of being alone lessens as you find others in similar situations and get to know people, through the forum, pms, chat, whatever.
Big :hug:s

 

[fms]

Thanks guys :sad: :hug:
I don't know why I'm scared to go get help...
Well, I don't like doctors for one.
But...
Would anyone be able to tell me what would happen if I did go to the doctor about getting help...?
What would they say?
And would they tell my parents...?
Thanks
xox

 

[KJAB]

eh. Going to doctor is totally private in most places. And, btw, TOTALLY normal. It can simply be a fifteen minute chat about how you're feeling and your options for getting better... It is a BIG step though, I don't want to underestimate it; it took me ages but finally I HAD to go as I was SOOOOO stressed (no sleep, no eats, shaking etc). I should have gone much sooner. Doctor can just give you advice you don't have to go taking meds if you don't wanna but it's just another option to consider (or not). YOU are in charge. There is a sort of 'giving in' (I didn't say giving up) involved which can be liberating in some way. Help is there. And here...

 

[~Claire]

It is a big step going to the Doctor, it took me a long time to go & when I did I came away feeling worse.

I'm not saying that to put you off going, I think you should definitely make an appointment but I guess some GP's are a lot better than others.

They won't tell your parents anything, it's all confidential. They may suggest that it would help if you told them but that is your decision to make.

Are there any GP's in your practice that you would feel comfortable talking with? For your 1st appt they won't ask too much, bearing in mind your times are limited, it will probably be general questions about how you are feeling & what's happening in your life that could be making you feel low. If you get nervous try writing down what you want to say as sometimes you can forget what you were going to say. Also try booking an appt when the surgery will be quieter like the very last appt of the day.

Big hugs :arms: xx

 

[fms]

Thanks :smile:
I don't know when I'll put an appointment on. I don't feel completely ready right now, but I know that I have to at some point soon.
I can't stay like this without trying to get better, right?
But yeah - thanks again :smile:
You've all helped :hug:
xo