Feel so alone

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by air1, Aug 26, 2010.

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  1. air1

    air1 Account Closed

    Hi this is my first post. I am a 28 year old male and have had back pain since about 2003. I was in a 5 year relationship and that ended because of me not working due to pain.
    I got over my partner leaving and gradually picked myself up by excersising through it and this also helped pick my mood up.

    Last year I hurt my chest and have somthing called Costochondritis that is very painful. After a year the pain is still there. Just recently I have met sombody and we really want to be together and this has given me new hope to get a job and start a new life.

    I want to be able to excersise and keep fit so I stay happy and I want to be able to hold down a job despite the pain. I feel deeply fustrated to the point of wanting to kill myself. I always think that I want this girl so much but a combination of my pain and my mood will make it not last. Also my confidence is very down and ive stopped going out much.

    My uncle commited suicide in 2008 and I have been pacing up and down the house with all this in my head thinking I want to switch off and not feel this.

    All my friends are doing well and getting married and moving into their own houses etc and im still at home with my parents. I feel I am a big weight for them to bear. They love me very much but I feel like there is no way out for me.
    I hope sombody can reply to this as I have also been wondering the easiest way to leave this world.
  2. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    Hi air1 and welcome to Sf.
    I'm very sorry to hear about your break up. I also hope your health gets better. Can you find a job that is less physically demanding? I hope someone here can answer to your questions better.
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    First of all, welcome to SF. :)
    This is a pro-life site, so you won't find any info on methods. But there are a LOT of supportive people who can relate to some of what you're going through.

    Are there any pain meds available to help you deal with Costochondritis?
  4. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    It sounds to me like you are trying to do too much friend. You want to get in shape, date, find a job, and move out. You want to do it all now. I have a similar problem that I am working on getting over. So instead of doing all of these things. Pick one or two. Focus on them and complete them. Then start working on the others. I noticed that I burned out less when I was only focusing on working out.

    Take a step back and relax a little.
  5. air1

    air1 Account Closed

    Thankyou for the fast replys. My breakup was in 2005 ive had a long time to get over that one. I concentrated on building myself up physically and this got me through it and strangely even helped me through my back pain.

    I was in very good shape until oct 2009 when I got costochondritis and had to completely lay off the excersise. The only meds that seem to work a bit are ibuprophen. The inflamation was going but could feel the injury still there. After meeting this girl (havent been in a proper relationship since 2005) I tried resuming excersise to pick up my mood and put myself in bed for a week.( This is when I seriously started getting depressed).

    I dont want to let her go out my life but how can I sustain a relationship with no job and feeling so unhappy with myself?

    Forgotten_Man you say im trying to do to much but why cant I have these simple things? Just like my friends (the ones I have left anyway).

    This is in my head every second of the day and I cant concentrate on anything. Cant read, relaxe or stop pacing the house.
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Hi air1..welcome to SF....
    Have you spoken to your doctor about the anxiety you have?. sounds like something to calm your thoughts would be helpful...
    If the girl really cares about you she will stay around whether you are ill or not...
    so hold on and keep fighting ok..
  7. Chanel1337

    Chanel1337 Member

    I know you're feeling frustrated with how your life is going, but try not to compare your life to your friends. Everybody goes through life at a different pace, and you've had to go through some difficult circumstances. And though you say that you feel like you're a burden to your parents, I am sure they understand what you are going through or at least trying to. You are their son, so maybe talk to them if you haven't done so already.

    What kind of exercise have you been trying? If exercise improved your mood before, have you maybe talked to your doctor about which kind of exercise you can do, something which is not too strenous and is gentle? Maybe pilates?

    And about your friends, they might feel that you have withdrawn yourself from them. Depression often leads to people isolating themselves, and then they think people are avoiding them because they don't like them anymore. Why not get into contact with one or two of them, chat with them a bit, have something to eat, you might feel better if you feel you have more people to support you....

    You also need to talk to this girl in your life - you need to be able to sort through your problems before thinking of having a really serious relationship; you owe it to her and to yourself.

    Setting the tiniest goals will help, even if you think it won't...believe me.

    (sorry for the really long post, but I hope it helps a little)
  8. Em1

    Em1 Member

    Well, Air... if this woman loves you too, she will love you no matter what and make you happy even when you'r down. if she really loves you, she will help you through it and make it much easier on yourself. i know it's hard having physical, or even mental issues to work through, my step dad had the same type thing. untill he met my mum. he never left the house and never done anything all day he felt horrible for himself and his friends thinking he was a constant burden and why people put up with him. my mum got him out and pushed him to see things clearer, he may have had issues but there is a bright side. and she kept him happy and kept him in an up mood, sure there was a down mood or two, but becuase they were happy it was just a case of forgive and forget. thats my input.
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