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Feel so helpless please someone help me ...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Tinydancer1, Jun 23, 2013.

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  1. Tinydancer1

    Tinydancer1 Member

    Hi I am new to the site so hi everyone and hope you are all hanging on in there. I am feeling extremely lost and do not know where to turn. I recently fell ill this year although have had problems with eating disorders/ depression for the last few years. I lost nearly all my hair a couple of years ago which made me even more depressed especially as at the time I was training to be a dancer and alot of it is on image ! Any way I help on and kept strong however this year I was diagnosed with a chronic disorder which has left me bed bound. I have had to go back to living with parents I am 23 , I cannot work more of my hairs fallen out and I feel absolutely helpless my dreams have been shattered but not only that I can't even get up and do a normal thing like walk down the road. It's absolutely destroyed me but I am a fighter and always have been and am trying everything to get better. The thing is on top of this my teeth are beginning to rot away and I have absolutely no money to my name. Not a penny and the type of work I need will cost thousands. I can't ask my parents for anymore money. I know they are so ashamed of me , I'm ashamed of myself. I have no1 to talk to and I just wish god would listen to my prayers. I stay up all night crying. Please someone help me I do not want to die but I cannot go on living like this. I have so many dreams but without money to get my health back on track I am helpless please someone respond I am going out of my mind right now :( ! X
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry for your rough turn of events...are there any entitlements you can get or any free dental clinics around you? I live in NY City and two hospitals provide these services, so maybe there is something near you...I also have a chronic disease and fight for my mobility and independence...like you, I have not given up...I exercise constantly and do what I can...and yes, I hate this wheel chair more than anything else...I am also working on grieving my past life (which was quite fulfilling) and being who I am today...if I can help in any way, please PM me...welcome again Dancer and hope you find the support you want here
  3. Tinydancer1

    Tinydancer1 Member

    Hi sadeyes,
    Thank you so much for the reply, it's so nice to be able to talk to someone who understands. I also am very sorry about your situation life can be so unfair I have learnt and people don't appreciate the small things they have. I am from the uk but currently in Australia as my parents love here. I flew over last year as couldn't cope anymore on my own :(. There is no free dental services over here and it's stressing me out so much a small filling costs at least €200. It saddens me so much because my teeth were not in thr greatest shape from bulimia but they have deteriorated so quickly in the last year because of my sickness and there's no help avaliable. I cant take out a loan as am not working and I just don't know what to do. I fly back to the uk in December because I only have a year ticket an doctors thought i would b better now but have just got worse. I really don't know what to do. Thank you for being so understanding and if you have anymore suggestions please let me know. It breaks my heart looking at pictures of me a few years ago when I thought my whole life was planned out :( I just feels as though I have nothing to live for now :( x
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi again Dancer...just got back online so I missed you...please PM me if you want to talk and I am not online...is the disease or the medications effecting your teeth? Many medications effect gums and teeth or deplete the nutrients necessary for good oral health...is there a dental school that has sliding fees? Here that is another way to get reduced cost dental care. The Australia Dental Association has a helpline so maybe contact them: http://www.ada.org.au/

    Also, do not give up...are you going for physical therapy or alike? Can you apply to have a therapist or nurse come to the home? Maybe contact the Australian home care services to see what is available: http://www.ahcs.org.au/

    Also, when in bed there are exercises that can be done. As I do not know your limitations, I cannot make any suggestions or ask my friends who are therapists for advise...if you would like to share that, in a PM if you prefer, I will see what can be recommended

    And, BTW, I was a dancer too...8 years ago I was doing Hip Hop...yes, so much has changed! And did we and all others take things for granted??? that is just human nature, but I surely know that if I ever get back function again, I will not

    All the best and please keep in touch...with great understand and many hugs
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Another wreck here lol!

    Went from being mad on martial arts, cycling, dancing and skating, to a fat blob with a heart condition...cest la vie.

    One thing I love that doesn't require physical health is playing the piano, so if you can, find something you love that requires little physical effort, it will help keep the depression at bay and quietens the mind from brooding on things past.

    I doubt very much that your parents are ashamed of you.
    No one can help getting ill and illness steals so much from us, but there is a different life you can lead; you just need to find something else that you love.
  6. letty

    letty Banned Member

    Tinydancer I understand how you feel i hope you can get the help you need when you go back home, sadeyes and Terry have good suggestions. i wish i had something that could help you, all i can give right now is my support, hang in there you are not alone
  7. Tinydancer1

    Tinydancer1 Member

    Thank you guys , you don't know how much it means to me to have someone understand what I'm going through ! Your all amazing thank you for your kind words. Sadeyes - the disese itself is causing teeth problems as its wrecked my digestive system unfortunately I will try the link you sent and see if they have any suggestions. Not having any therapy I can still walk etc but I get very tired and am in some amount of pain that i spend most of the time in bed and alot of time sleeping. It's hard because people don't really understand. :( sending lots of hugs in your direction too and thank you for taking the time to listen and try and help me out am really grateful and hope ur doin ok, if you ever wanna talk i am here! Terry - hi and I am sorry to hear you've had a rough time too it really sucks doesn't it! Yes I'm sure they aren't ashamed its just hard to hear them praising my sister constantly to everyone (she is also a dancer ) and its like she is living my dream , I was always a perfectionist growing up I think that's what lead to the eating disorders when I was studying at dance college because I never felt I was good enough and have always pushed myself so hard , so I think I'm just feeling so frustrated that there's nothing I can do about this :(. But I suppose I just have to move on and accept it. Some days are harder than others, I suppose what's upsetting me the most at the moment is the stress of money from not being able to work and knowing I need thousands of pounds to fix my teeth it's just adding to my depression and It make me feel helpless ! Letty thank you for your support too means alot just to hear people say that I hope your all doing ok and can't thank you enough for being so caring ! And hope I can help you guys out if you ever need to talk !
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