feel so horible

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by emily83, Apr 23, 2013.

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  1. emily83

    emily83 Well-Known Member

    so yesterday... my friend victoria got back in contact with me after ages- she had been feeling aweful, and was on the verge of suicide... she'd lost everything in her life- everything, was ready to give up.

    anyway she was rubbing it in yesterday.. that her life had really been turned around- she'd moved to a better house, had a job, a partner, pets, and actually felt content with herself.. and i couldn't help but feel so angry at her- i was happy for her of course i was, but it took her 2 years or something like that.. just to rebuild her life and live happily. she said now she wouldn't even think of killing herself

    and here i am, i've been struggling for over 11 years with this mental illness/ worthless feeling, and it makes me think... well what's the point?

    i've allready lost so much- how the hell am i expected to ever have something good happen to me?. why don't i just give up now?

    she had nothing... and look where she is now

    i jus want to kill myself so bad
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    some of us take longer thats all hun to get stronger new meds and therapy there is nope for hard to treat depression now You will get there too hun so don't give up ok hugs
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    That's sort of how I feel right now, I'm happy for people when they get better, but also a bit envious that my life can't be like that. I help people all the time, and are there for them when they're down, but when the tables turn, they forget about me. I hope you don't give up, I have been feeling suicidal for at least half my life but I'm still here. I'm hoping that things will get better, and I'm sure they will for you too.
  4. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    Sorry Emily but the good things you envy and want don't just happen. We have to make changes and or do things differently for our lives to change. People can help us but they can't do it for us. It's not easy but it is worth it.
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