Hey started uni a month ago, course is going ok and I have made friends. Only problem- I have bipolar and I appear to be finally adjusting to being away from home and I am fending for myself pretty well so far but I just don't feel like going in at the mo. I've been to about half my lectures and I have a full day tomorrow and I just can't face it. I'm off from friday til tuesday but I just can't face tomorrow (and I have a full day). I just feel like I can't cope with going in and I don't want to fail but I just can't do it. I'm ok with staying here and eating and everything but the study stuff just feels so high, I feel so depressed. I have been drinking a lot (which is a problem) and in my first week I drunkenly sent an email into the uni's counselling page because I do feel that I need some help. Woke up the next day thinking 'shit' because I'm so shy and so scared of going in and I keep getting voicemails from them and they keep ringing me but the problem is it's always a blocked number and I never answer blocked numbers and never know who it is until they leave a voicemail. I want counselling but I am far too afraid to ask and sort it out and I really do not want to fail this degree but it's so hard. Like my friends and family don't get it when I say 'I can't go in', they're always like 'YOU HAVE TO YOU MUST' and I know that but at the same time something in my head just keeps on stopping me. Gahh.