Feel So Weak

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by rayoflight78, Dec 10, 2008.

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  1. rayoflight78

    rayoflight78 Member

    I don't know what to do at this point.

    This morning I thought about going to the doctor for some XXXX so that I could overdose the same way that my mother did.

    Then I think about staying with my boyfriend. But he cheats on me constantly. I'm not sure I can rely on him.

    Then I think I should check myself into the hospital, but who will care for my dogs?

    I've isolated myslef from friends and family, I don't feel like there is anyone I can talk to.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 10, 2008
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    In my neighborhood there are ads placed for ppl to temp pet sit both at the vets office and online (Craigslist)...is there any way for you to reach out in this way??? please get the help you need...J
  3. rayoflight78

    rayoflight78 Member

    Thank you for the suggestion.

    I might try that.
  4. rayoflight78

    rayoflight78 Member

    A Strange Thing Happened

    I just took my dogs for a walk and ran into a neighbor.

    I see this neighbor fairly regularly since he's out walking his dog around the same times that I do.

    I've known of his depression and drug abuse. He talks very openly of his problems.

    I had never thought of trying to talk to him. While I was on the dog walk, I ran into him. I had been feeling suicidal all morning. I'm not sure why, but I broke down in front of him. He gave me a hug, made me a cup of tea and let me talk. He too has been going through a dark time. He told me that he has thought about suicide too. But we both agreed that we need to carry on for ourselves and our dogs. He's starting a new job tomorrow. I have a job interview on Friday. He even offered to be a reference. Not only that, he told me that I can drop my dogs off at his place once I get a job.

    I bumped into someone at the right time. I'll take that as a sign to carry on.

    My mom and both of my grandmothers committed suicide. I don't want to devastate my family any further. I know that I have a lot of work to do, a lot of pain to work through. I think I'll hold out and see how I feel once I get some help.
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    Re: A Strange Thing Happened

    I'm so glad you ran into your neighbour when you did. I'd say it is definitely a sign! Now, would you consider reaching out to a professional to get help with your suicidal thoughts. It can take alot of work to make them go away, so the more help the better, in my book. Again, I'm so glad you took that walk when you did.
  6. Milton

    Milton Well-Known Member

    Really good news that you found some extra strength when you needed it. I definitely second the decision to seek out some professional help.
  7. rayoflight78

    rayoflight78 Member

    I recently bought a pair of glasses. I was relieved for my newfound sight.
    Maybe getting some help will provide similar relief emotionally.
    I called a couple of crisis lines today, but the lines rang busy. It seems that a lot of people are feeling really low. Maybe it's the pressure of the holidays. Thank you to those of you who replied to my posts. I don't feel so alone.
  8. rayoflight78

    rayoflight78 Member

    I just got off the phone with my neighbor. He picked up a whole bunch of stuff from the Food Bank for me. Just when I thought I was all alone, someone I barely know, who is also suffering, is reaching out to me. Praise God.
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

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