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  • Hi - It is possible that I have figured out part of the problem with the donations. I believe that if you try to use paypal balance or your debit/credit card that should work now. Bank transfer still seems glitchy. If you try with a card and it fails please can you let me know? Fingers crossed that part is resolved though. Thanks so much for the support - Freya

Feel stupid at this age

Spidy71

Well-Known Member
#1
Is it right to be 47 have 4 beautiful kids (who don't live with me) but lost interest in life plus try and plan how to kill yourself again.Was suicidle years ago yet managed to pull through ive got here now asnd have just lost all zest for life.Its dragging me down seems I don't have many friends and my sister just adds to my emotions as well .I have ex and her and my sister fight where I just want shit to be simple yet they both put me in rock and hard place.Anyway very much been thinking how easy would be not to be here I m not enjoying life actually everyday bored have no interest in shit feeling very sad go to bed and actually think how will I do the deed of dying.Do sleep and have dreams of my most worst times in my life which dosnt help.Guess if I do kill myself my kids never forgive me but I m getting to the point of no return I ll just make sure im not found.
 
#2
Hello Spidy,
First, seems like you have some depression going on. You say you attempted suicide in the past? Have you sought treatment or therapy for it? Even though you pulled through it the last time, depression never really goes away. It stays with you. Sometimes for a long time. It's with therapy and sometimes meds, that we're able to make it through those low days. Especially, what you're feeling right now.

Your situation to you seems non fixable. But, it is. Sometimes we, ourselfs can't see through the dark clouds. But, by talking to others you'll find that break to help you get through them. They're are alot of great people on this forum, that will be glad to help you get through those dark clouds. Look at tommorow as a new day, a fresh start. You've found a good place.
 
#3
I'm so sorry that you are struggling right now...but first please take to heart that you do matter and that you aren't alone. As @Were all together smentioned have you talked to your GP about how you are feeling or looked into therapy? Depression can become so all consuming on our thoughts and our perspective. and sometimes meds and therapy can be so incredibly helpful. You clearly have an inner strength so hold tightly onto that. And know that others here will be able to offer support, advice, and encouragement. So I encourage you to keep posting and sending you hugs and peaceful thoughts.
 

Winslow

Antiquitie's Friend
SF Supporter
#4
The same as the other two posters, I strongly recommend finding a therapist. Because I have a therapist myself and he keeps me stable. From time to time I feel gloomy (as does everyone else at times) but your condition lingers and is chronic, so it calls for a therapist. Life is daunting for me at times but I still have a zest for life.
 

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