I have never felt so misunderstood and alone In my whole life. I know in my heart if I died tonight, no one in this world whould miss me or greiv the loss of my life. Today during my doctors appointment I accidentally told them I still have a stash of certain meds. I nerver thought they were enough to kill myself, but they told me they were more than enough and explaind in detail what would happen if I took them. Die. I went into this appointment feeling ok and not suicidal. Now I just want to end it.