Feelind bad.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by pisces1, Aug 28, 2014.

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  1. pisces1

    pisces1 Well-Known Member

    I have never felt so misunderstood and alone In my whole life. I know in my heart if I died tonight, no one in this world whould miss me or greiv the loss of my life.

    Today during my doctors appointment I accidentally told them I still have a stash of certain meds. I nerver thought they were enough to kill myself, but they told me they were more than enough and explaind in detail what would happen if I took them. Die.

    I went into this appointment feeling ok and not suicidal. Now I just want to end it.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you handed over your stash of meds to your doctor or threw them out ok. I would care if you left i am sorry you feel so alone and misunderstood It is hard when the professionals just do not listen or hear I hear you ok and i would care if you left you are not alone here h ugs
  3. JV3

    JV3 Well-Known Member

    That's an odd conversation for your doctor(s) to have with you, but if that conversation triggered you then you may be better off to get rid of your stash. While no method is truly good or worth it, that's an especially bad way to be tempted by because of the way a failed suicide attempt with meds can be. Unless you honestly need those medications, you really should consider getting rid of them.

    I'm sorry to read how you feel, though, and I know how difficult feeling alone is. I'm sure you'd be missed by someone though, and I believe that regardless anytime someone takes their own life it does affect other people. I have gone through many times in my life where I have felt that way, but looking back I believe if I had ever acted on my feelings then I would have caused a lot of people grief and issues to deal with long after I would have been gone.

    So don't give up on yourself yet. If you need someone to vent or talk to feel free to PM me. I would be more than happy to listen. Please take care and know that myself and many others here care!
  4. pisces1

    pisces1 Well-Known Member

    Total eclipse. ... Thank you for always being so caring and supportive. You are a very dear and kind person. Hugs

    Jv3.... It was odd to have my doctor tell me I had enough to off myself. In my parinoid state of mind it made me think how little they care if I live or not. I still have the meds. I have to turn them in tomorrow or face getting sectioned.

    I am just so tired. I have struggled for a long time to get better and evertime I feel I am getting there, these emotions and thoughts hit me again.

    I am feeling better now. Thank you both for taking the time to respond.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Perhaps doc was just wanting to make you see how lethal drugs can be how harmful they are but i am glad you will turn them in tomorrow hun hope you feel stronger tomorrow hugs
  6. pisces1

    pisces1 Well-Known Member

    I think you are right Total Eclipse. I am going to turn them in today. I am also going ask about a partial hospitalization program they have. I really cannot afford it but I know I need to do something. I have come to far to give up now. Thank you again for your support. I hope you are feeling better today. ((Hugs))
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    That good hun you deserve that help You are cared for here hugs
    i am feeling a stronger today keeping me so busy helps to distract from sadness some
  8. JV3

    JV3 Well-Known Member

    Glad to see you're feeling better. It made my day. :)
  9. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am really glad to see the positive steps you are talking about and wanted to wish you luck and strength - but i sincerely believe people make their own luck so I think these steps will will be a great start to improvements. Try not to let little setbacks or a day of feeling particular low sidetrack you from mission to get better and the results will come- I really have a lot of faith and confidence in you and let us know if anything we can do or if you just want to talk about how the programs are going. :hug:
  10. pisces1

    pisces1 Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your kind words and vote of confidence. It really means a great deal to me.

    I have an appointment next week to see if i can get into the day treatment program. Hopefully i will get in and be able to lean some new ways to cope with my mood swings and depression. :thankyou: all.
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