feeling a fool. *poss. Trig*

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by famous.last.words, May 10, 2008.

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  1. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    no surprise there.

    I just couldnt deal with it. After talking about one part, everything came flooding back. I could see it all, i was reliving every single last detail and it was too much. i just wanted it to stop. i couldnt say the words. its too sick. too fucked up. but i could see it. i could watch it. i NEEDED it to stop. i just wanted to sleep, to just forget.

    <mod edit Beret-methods>, but in my pathetic drunken state i was just sick and knocked out for the night.

    I feel like crap today. I think my boyfriend thinks i just drunk too much and thats all. he picked me up off the bathroom floor and put me in bed. my god he doesnt deserve this. i know he will go, and i will understand. he deserves someone so much better. he doesnt deserve being left with scum like me. dirty.cheap.whore.

    im such a mess. i havent attempted since i was 16. and now look at me, nearly 21 and just as screwed up as ever.

    You stole my life.
    so why am i still breathing?
    Last edited by a moderator: May 10, 2008
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    man, i know all about giving in to impulses (remember how distressed i was wednesday). i'd recommed a couple of things: one, talk to your boyfriend about what you are feeling. i'm sure he'd want to know, and want to help you get through this horrible time. second, get rid of any pills in the house. if they are not immediately at hand, you give yourself a little more room to change your mind. it's basically, about putting obstacles in your way. the more obstacles, the better. finally, your boyfriend loves you. he does not *want* anyone else, and why should he? he sees the beauty and kindness in you, and so do we. please hang on,
  3. kenny

    kenny Well-Known Member

    Oh hun, I'm sorry to hear this.

    You're not a dirty cheap whore. you are beautiful and kind and very sweet.

    Hang in there its going to be ok. of course when you start it opens the floodgates. we're all here to support you hun. Don't give in, we're all here for you

    Your boyfriend loves you , he sees your beauty. don't forget that


  4. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    Thank you so much for your replies.

    I will take those tips on board. I really think i will need them. today has just got worse and worse.

    I wish i had of done it properly.
  5. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Throwing out pills that you dont need is very good advice. I was hording my old drugs in my cabnet. I had a bottle of geodon, a bottle of prazac, a bottle of seroquil, and a bottle of cymbalta.. I was took off all those because of side effects that I couldnt handle and keept them. I wanted them around in case I wanted a one way ticket out of this life.. I had my husband put them all into a bag and get rid of them for me. Then I had him get rid of the bottles so I wouldnt have to look at them.. If you need medication to keep going a good idea would be to intrust it to someone who you trust. Ask them to keep the medication somewhere and give it to you when you need it only in the dose the doctors prescribed for you.. I may ask my husband to do that with my medication when I get started back on it again..
  6. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    thank you.
    i really think that would be a good idea. then even when i have nights like now, its not there.
    I really will do that.
  7. ScouseJM

    ScouseJM Well-Known Member

    Im sorry I didnt see this thread. I am so glad ur still here with us, and I am so thankful for the replies before mine for the great tips they gave u, and Im glad ur takin them on. Your boyfriend wont go hun, he loves you. Hes been around for so long, do u really think u can get rid of him so easily ;) Please know u can always talk to me. always, and about anything. Next time u feel like that, please please get in touch with me. You know I dont have a life, Im always online :laugh:
  8. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    thank you hun, that is so kind of you.
    as long as you promise to do the same?
    thats all we can do i guess. keep fighting together. :hug:
  9. ScouseJM

    ScouseJM Well-Known Member

    superwomen fightin the woooorrrrrlllllllddddd :tongue:

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