no surprise there. I just couldnt deal with it. After talking about one part, everything came flooding back. I could see it all, i was reliving every single last detail and it was too much. i just wanted it to stop. i couldnt say the words. its too sick. too fucked up. but i could see it. i could watch it. i NEEDED it to stop. i just wanted to sleep, to just forget. <mod edit Beret-methods>, but in my pathetic drunken state i was just sick and knocked out for the night. I feel like crap today. I think my boyfriend thinks i just drunk too much and thats all. he picked me up off the bathroom floor and put me in bed. my god he doesnt deserve this. i know he will go, and i will understand. he deserves someone so much better. he doesnt deserve being left with scum like me. dirty.cheap.whore. im such a mess. i havent attempted since i was 16. and now look at me, nearly 21 and just as screwed up as ever. You stole my life. so why am i still breathing?