I burned myself out working too hard and ignoring my depression and anxiety, so I thought quitting my job and moving home would be the smart thing to do, and so I moved home and it did help. I started to feel a little better, less depressed, less anxious, I was slowly working part time and feeling good about it. Then after six months a falling out with a friend throws me right back into the blackness of depression and anxiety. So okay, now here I am again, I know I can try to get out of it again, and that probably I will, but the constant roller coaster where I'm thrown back in is starting to make me think I'll never really feel good again. Like this is going to be my life now for some reason. I want so desperately to believe that peace and joy is my destiny, at least for much of my life, I know there will be ups and downs, but now I'm starting to doubt that I'll ever feel good again. I used to believe I just needed to heal certain traumas, and I think I still believe that, but as a person of faith I'm losing it. I feel so alone. I don't want to lose my faith that everything is going to be okay.