This is my first post in a place like this. It feels so vulnerable. I hardly know where to start. For the last 12 hours I've been fighting the desire to cut. Ive been fighting the desire to lose myself in an alcoholic stupor. I've also been fighting for my life. I'm in the middle of a med change. I know how I feel is mainly related to that change. I'm trying so hard to hold onto that. I'm trying to take care. I don't want to do anything irreversible. I'm so scared.