Feeling afraid of myself today

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Turtle, Jun 14, 2014.

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  1. Turtle

    Turtle Member

    This is my first post in a place like this. It feels so vulnerable. I hardly know where to start.

    For the last 12 hours I've been fighting the desire to cut. Ive been fighting the desire to lose myself in an alcoholic stupor. I've also been fighting for my life. I'm in the middle of a med change. I know how I feel is mainly related to that change. I'm trying so hard to hold onto that. I'm trying to take care.

    I don't want to do anything irreversible. I'm so scared.
     
  2. Cooki

    Cooki Well-Known Member

    Welcome here turtle! I just want you to know that there's someone who cares, okay? If you need someone to talk, feel free to pm me, I'm often here *hugs you*
     
  3. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    I'm sorry you feel like that, if you are in the middle of a med change have they offered any extra support to help you through it until the new meds start working?
     
  4. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Member Safety & Support

    I hope you can find things to do to keep you distracted. Post here, visit the chat room, read a book, call a friend, see a movie. Just try and keep busy. Business should help you get through the change.
     
  5. Turtle

    Turtle Member

    My therapist knows I'm going through this change and is there for me as much as he can be. Otherwise I'm on my own.
     
  6. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. You are not alone, please do not anything rash as it does not help. Please take care and keep posting..
     
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi turtle, I am also in the middle of a medication change, my brain feels weird but not suicidal or depressed....you need to tell the prescriber how you are feeling hun, they may be able to give you something to counteract the bad effects. You're not alone in this x
     
  8. Turtle

    Turtle Member

    I'm between doctors right now and don't have anyone I can go to. I feel abandoned by my medical team. My doctor just told me to make the changes and then left. I'm really hoping how I feel is temporary. Today I am white knuckling my way through.
     
  9. Cooki

    Cooki Well-Known Member

    Sounds awful to me..!
     
  10. Cooki

    Cooki Well-Known Member

    Is there actually no one you can go to? A friend, a stranger, just talking about it helps so often
     
  11. Turtle

    Turtle Member

    My family is away this weekend. I've been emailing my therapist. It helps a little. Mostly I'm embarrassed and afraid to talk about how I feel. How can I want to die while I have so much. How can I ask for help when I don't even know what I need. How will I ever find someone who understands.
     
  12. Cooki

    Cooki Well-Known Member

    As fun as it may sound, it's about the same for me. I sometimes just think I don't have the right to be sad because I have more than I need.
     
  13. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Please go to hospital ok ask them if they can sign you in for a few days until the new medication takes effect tell them how you are struggling and how your are afraid Perhaps the pdoc there can help you
     
  14. overdue

    overdue Member

    I have a friend who has had emotional problems the last few years. his practitioners also have a tough time dealing with him. I imagine it takes a lot of patience to try to treat someone with mental or emotional issues that isn't blatantly psychotic, schizophrenic, or something like that. I have been in tears seeing him feel so dejected about how his doctor's visits/counselor visits have not been fruitful.

    turtle - relax, take a deep breath, and drink fresh, cool water. I must say I fortunately have never been on any medication, but ive heard how stopping dosages or switching can screw with you. just please know people HERE understand! I know - what does that do for you - we are all invisible, but the fact that you've posted a number of mssgs today tells me you desire comfort and understanding. you can get that here. you won't be let down.
     
  15. Turtle

    Turtle Member

    Cooki, I'm relieved that I'm not alone. Sorry you can relate.

    Total Eclipse, I'm terrified of going to the hospital. What will they do with me?

    Overdue, Ty. I'm reaching out and fighting hard today. I don't want to be alone.
     
  16. Turtle

    Turtle Member

    I am feeling much better today. Thank you for everyone who helped carry me through a rough time.
     
  17. Cooki

    Cooki Well-Known Member

    That's good :)
     
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