Feeling Alone amongst loved ones.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Joshmorey1, Aug 21, 2015.

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  1. Joshmorey1

    Joshmorey1 Member

    In another section I posted that I recently lost my fiancé to suicide. The last few weeks have been hell on earth. Thankfully my family and closest friends have all been here for me. It helps but honestly does nothing to fill this whole I have in my heart. They don't understand this pain. Sadly I feel like it's growing. I miss her so much. Not really suicidal, but I have thought of ending my life. One part of me desperately wants to carry on for the both of us and live this life to the fullest so when I see her again she can be proud of all I did for us. But the other part has no clue how to move forward and has contemplated what it would be like to end the suffering and go to her quickly. I just can't rationalize thinking like that. Because I know I want to live, but how after loosing the person dearest to me? How can I expected to carry on, I know she didn't want to hurt me but how could she think I could shoulder this pain? I'm broken and feeling very down today. I'm sorry if this isn't posted in the right section. Just wanted to express my feelings and maybe talk with a few people.
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am sorry for your loss. You are doubt over-thinking what happened and how you wished you could have helped him. You are hurting a lot emotionally and try to deal with it on a day to day basis. I know it's hurting but you have to think about yourself now. I am in no way, being horrible but you need to remember life is important and that includes YOU. Your fiancé would have liked you to live your life. Yes, the support of your friends and families help you when they are around. The hardest times are the ones when you are all alone in your place of dwelling.

    You no doubt crying from your eyes and pour tears from your heart. I know you are hurting and very fragile at the moment. You have to remain strong for yourself. You have to deal with life on a hour by hour basis. Yes, it going to be hard for you. Some days, you will find it hard to cope with but that is understandable. You must not over-dwell but keep remembering the good times you had together. Please do not worry as we all understand and care about YOU.

    It's easy to speak to strangers as we understand what you are going through and please keep posting here. Please do not take offence to this but please seek group bereavement support. Sharing your feelings with others who have suffered as well will help you.

    Please be safe and take care.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    She wasn't thinking hun she was in a darkness that clouded all rational thinking She did not want to leave you she just wanted to find a way out I am sorry she left you
    You can move forward but it will take time ok you are grieving right now and i do hope you can get some counseling to help you through the pain you are in
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