I feel so alone right now. I live with my folks who would beat the shit outta me if they knew what I do and am thinking. I have my bottle of trazodone in the drawer beside me and and I fantasize about swallowing them all. How much could it hurt to fall asleep and never wake up? I sew and keep telling myself that I can't do it until the quilts for my friends are done. The drawer above my trazodone holds knives. I want to cut but still have marks from the last time. I feel like I have no one.