Feeling alone (Trigger?)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by bookworm2010, Jul 17, 2010.

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  1. bookworm2010

    bookworm2010 Member

    I feel so alone right now. I live with my folks who would beat the shit outta me if they knew what I do and am thinking. I have my bottle of trazodone in the drawer beside me and and I fantasize about swallowing them all. How much could it hurt to fall asleep and never wake up? I sew and keep telling myself that I can't do it until the quilts for my friends are done. The drawer above my trazodone holds knives. I want to cut but still have marks from the last time. I feel like I have no one.
     
  2. UnkelHeit

    UnkelHeit Well-Known Member

    That seems like an odd reaction from your parents but everybody is different. There's a good chance you would wake up in the hospital or just throw them back up. So I hope you don't try. I'm sorry you're feeling so alone but I know the feeling. You're not alone here, though. There's me and a bunch of great people that care. Hopefully you'll get more requests for quilts. I hope to see you around.
     
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi bookworm. Please try hard to resist the urge to cut or overdose on those pills. :hug:
     
  4. Ihatemyfamily

    Ihatemyfamily Member

    you have your folks and your friends..thats more than enough to live for..what is troubling you so much that you feel no way out..2morow will be a different day..smile :eek:)
     
  5. ema

    ema Antiquities Friend

    swallowing the pills will probably just make you sick. My doc actually told me that most od's end up that way. The body just rejects them and we rarely have enough.

    I know exactly how you feel about being alone. I feel that way right now. It hurts so much.

    Keep coming back here and posting, maybe try chat. It helps to at least feel like you are in the midst of a bunch of people who really do understand.

    And keep going on the quilts. I wish I could do that. What a great talent.

    I do hope you feel better coming here.
     
  6. bookworm2010

    bookworm2010 Member

    I actually ended up falling to sleep instead of doing anything stupid last night. I just had a lot in my mind last night and broke down. Knowing that I don't get along well with my folks wasn't helping and I didn't want to wake up my friends. I just end up feeling hella alone at times. Two of my close friends are moving next week and I was supposed to move with them and it would have helped to get away from this house but I lost my job and it all went to hell.
     
  7. ema

    ema Antiquities Friend

    I'm so sorry things are hard.

    And, I'm really glad you are safe and ok.

    I'm around if you need to talk.
     
  8. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    Dont forget you have friends here. I am praying for you and hope you do too. If there is physical abuse it time to move away. I pray it works out,

    Write me if you like,

    Marty
     
  9. UnkelHeit

    UnkelHeit Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry for my response. The thought of ongoing abuse didn't occur to me at the time. I have my own reasons for wanting to get far away from here, this house, this town. I'm just stuck here for now. So, I have to do the best I can. I recently made an appointment to go back to my psych after giving up again months ago. How old are you? Could you contact social services? If you're underage you might be able to get help to get out of there.
     
  10. bookworm2010

    bookworm2010 Member

    I'm not a minor. I suppose saying "beat the crap outta me" might have been a bit strong. There really isn't physical abuse. I made it clear when I had to move back in that I do not tolerate any of that crap. You know how parents can be when you are young, where its not really abuse if they smack you over the head when you're doing something really stupid or what not.
     
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