feeling alone vent

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Moon_Penguin, Jun 2, 2011.

  1. Moon_Penguin

    Moon_Penguin Penguin astronaut extraordinaire

    i feel like i am unable to comunicate how i feel anymore. im just feel like im letting everyone down. or when i can say im just triggering everyone.i just feel lost, almost alone.i mean i cant talk to my bf as hed wana check if ive been cutting ( not for like a week now :) maybe more, but stil hed notice the fresh scars) and if i ever mention anythign about when i was younger hed some how turn it into how miserable his childhood was. you know what thought was misserable? not having the internet as a kid. thats it. i mean he gets REALY upset because his lil brother has more freedom than he did as a kid. just jealous over it. so i cant talk to him. my family hve bigger problems to deal with. n theres one guy. i know i can tell him anything. hes my soulmate. but i just cant. i mean hes just incredable. he can make me smile n laugh. and i used to be able to tell him everything. but now. i just cant. i feel like when ever im down i trigger him. ... some of you may have realised i have a bf and a soulmate? well me and my bf aint working out. i fell inlove with a diffrent man, n i never got him. the only reason im with him is becasue im kinda trapped. anyway. ye i just feel like i have noone to talk to. and anyone who i could talk to im scared of making them feel as crap as me.

    i realy could do with my daddy right now...i miss him soo much. maybe hes the reason i feel alone? i mean i used to be able to talk to him about anything. but now i cant. hes gone and i cant deal with it. ive lost so many people. im worried if i talk about how i feel i might lose more people.
    and yet again i made my boyfriend mad at me for trying to help. i should jsut give up. dont help anyone. just sit here alone. i dont deserve my soulmate. hes perfect in everyway. i just cnt bare the thought of losing him.

    and i know aload of you will sit here and say pm me ill talk. well i doubt i will tbh. i mean your on here for a reason right? and i know you want to help and i love you all for that. your the reason im staying. to try and show you how you can be strong. fight urges. keep it together at the worse of times. show you people do get through his. and help in anyway i can for everyone else x but i cant talk. i mean id trigger some of you. i cant do that to you. and people who are feeling the way we do, they dont understand. they jsut get scared, or angry. and i cant deal with that again.....
    sorry if ive made anyone feel depressed. just needed to vent. i feel lil better now tbh... other than my bf being a d**k... but thats usual for him. il see you around guys. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!! :hugtackles:
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    glad you were able to get all that out of you hun It is good to vent I hope you continue to do so hugs:hugtackles::hugtackles:
  3. the masked depressant

    the masked depressant Well-Known Member

    you arn't alone,... i feel exactly the same way

    i feel like i'm just here fora type of circus show (so people can just pass me and either ignore me or laugh)

    i don't even have 1 proper friend i can talk to, which is really frustrating also

    each day i'm wondering what the point is... can't i just leave yet