feeling attraction made me die from the inside

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Summer.Rain, Nov 14, 2015.

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  1. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    so, on rear occasions i (sort of) meet this one girl that triggers my emotions,
    hell im not even meeting her, just a quick encounter, usually job related.
    Its not just one specific girl, it can be any random girl that simply triggers my emotions.
    Problem is, that because im so messed up in so many ways, i dont believe i will ever find love,
    i dont even believe i deserve to be loved, ever, by any one.
    So in my case, the supposed to be good feeling of attraction, turns into this oblivious pain
    that washes me away, leaving me empty and dead from the inside...
    During this time, i really do losing all hope for life and just want to, never wake up :(
  2. Im no expert in this but, i can tell you that everyone deserve to be love you just need to find the right one. i may be young but ive seen love lost and found you will find the one one day and they need you. you can do this :) i hope i helped you even a little. stay strong!!!
  3. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    thank you
    but the first rule in love is that i must love myself before anyone can love me
    and i hate every single atom in my body
  4. Thats very true and i know your struggle in that area and if you need any help feeling down, anything at all im a good listener just message me
  5. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    Summer rain, I am sorry that you find it hard to love yourself, do you know why you have these feeling an where they come from?
  6. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    Summer, you know we do not judge anyone in here, I will never judge you, Darker is right we all deserve love, no matter who we are, There is someone out there for every one, would you share with me why you feel you are so messed up? I know there are people who have found love in the most obscure places You may be right but I do not believe that no one can be unable to find love, What I believe I hear you saying is that You are deciding you cannot be loved, and you deciding that these girls will find you UN-loveable? is that correct?
  7. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    Summer I hope that you will not act or are not thinking now about doing anything to yourself?
    we care about you here, please remember that!
  8. SillyOldBear

    SillyOldBear Teddy Bear Fanatic Staff Alumni

    Summer.rain, how I ache for you. And how I know how you feel. I learned to hate myself at a very young age. And never unlearned it. I remember seeing people walk hand in hand on the beach. Obviously in love. And feeling such intense pain. Agony, if you will. I can tell you, that for me, that pain has pretty much gone away. Maybe it left with age. But I fervently wish that you will learn to love yourself, and then find a person to share your life with. In the meantime, do take care of yourself. You are so much more then you believe you are. You are an amazing soul that deserves everything this world has to offer.
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I people getting married and while marriage is supposed to be a time of celebration, I can't believe how sad it makes me feeling that I'm 26 and I have no-one. I hope that will change, I am a positive person so I won't let it get me down too much. And you shouldn't let it get you down so much too. You're young with plenty of time to find ''the one''.
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