I hate it when the depression starts to come back. I just feel like its all too much. I cant up my anti ds or anything because im on the maximum dose atm. I wake up in the morning with such a huge sense of fear.I cant face getting out of bed. Everyone else in my life carries on like everything is the same (which of course it is to them) but i feel like a fake image of myself like a "paper me" walking around carrying out the motions. I have this constant ball of nervers in my tummy because i havent done stuff i should have done but couldnt face it. It seems so huge just to keep breathing. Every knock on the door or loud noise brings another bout of anxiety. i feel so irritable! like i just want to rip off my own skin. Every couple of hours my heart starts to race and i feel like i cant breathe. There just doesnt seem any way out. I couldnt bear to leave my children and husband but its almost like i have this secret life that no one can see. I just wish it wouldnt keep coming back 
its every few months now and i just dont know what to do .Even when im well im only running at like 75 percent but even that would do atm. I have a useless gp who doesnt really get it at all. He looks at me like im an alien. I know no one has any magic answers but its good to be able to let it out LOL thanks for reading.:troll:
its every few months now and i just dont know what to do .Even when im well im only running at like 75 percent but even that would do atm. I have a useless gp who doesnt really get it at all. He looks at me like im an alien. I know no one has any magic answers but its good to be able to let it out LOL thanks for reading.:troll:
