feeling awful *triggering*

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by tweetypie, Apr 14, 2011.

  1. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    I hate it when the depression starts to come back. I just feel like its all too much. I cant up my anti ds or anything because im on the maximum dose atm. I wake up in the morning with such a huge sense of fear.I cant face getting out of bed. Everyone else in my life carries on like everything is the same (which of course it is to them) but i feel like a fake image of myself like a "paper me" walking around carrying out the motions. I have this constant ball of nervers in my tummy because i havent done stuff i should have done but couldnt face it. It seems so huge just to keep breathing. Every knock on the door or loud noise brings another bout of anxiety. i feel so irritable! like i just want to rip off my own skin. Every couple of hours my heart starts to race and i feel like i cant breathe. There just doesnt seem any way out. I couldnt bear to leave my children and husband but its almost like i have this secret life that no one can see. I just wish it wouldnt keep coming back :( its every few months now and i just dont know what to do .Even when im well im only running at like 75 percent but even that would do atm. I have a useless gp who doesnt really get it at all. He looks at me like im an alien. I know no one has any magic answers but its good to be able to let it out LOL thanks for reading.:troll:
     
  2. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    :hug: have you thought about seeing a psychiatrist who may have more knowledge about medications and things that may help you? As well as a therapist? Both can be very helpful in helping you feel better. Anyway, take care and hope things can start looking up for you. It's good ur getting it out! Keep posting! :)
     
  3. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    thankyou :) very much. I would happily seek further help but the services in our area are referral by gp only and mines rubbish! i am going to make an appointment tho and just say look you gotta help me ! thank you for your kind words ...it really means alot xx
     
  4. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Your welcome :hug: and I'm not sure if you can, but you can also maybe look into a new gp if this one isn't right for you. You deserve to get the help you need. :)