AM struggling - had a new shot of anti-hormones to fight cancer. And it failed immediately. So now it is just a few herbs between me and the deep dark. And I was told that when the cancer spreads more it will hurt a lot more. Well, I do not want it to hurt a lot more. I stopped all opiates for pain , in an effort to get a special cancer med. So if it hurts a lot more - that is going to be a problem. Thinking bad thoughts again. And feeling very sad again.