Feeling better, but only because I ignore everything. Thank you SF

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Lestat, Mar 17, 2016.

  1. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    The last day I have felt better. Not great, my anxiety attacks are still bad... But its better. I still have hard to deal with thoughts... But im learning to ignore them quicker.

    I'm still not leaving my bed though. I stay in it and try to watch netflix. I'm drinking Slimfast shakes so I eat something... Everytime I get up I get anxiety attacks that make me sick. I can't really eat meals even though I have tried. The shakes work quite well.

    I swear, this place has always been so important to me. Whenever I'm unwell with depression or whatever is wrong with me, it is the only place that helps. Without it I don't know what I'd do.

    I'm not close to being fixed yet. I also hope that when I'm well I can do something to stop this cycle I'm on. It's been years of the same issues that always come back. It's wasting my life and killing me. I'm injured from suicide attempts and will forever be effected by them.

    I now know that even when things are really really bad, good days can happen. No matter how impossible they sound. Right now I honestly think I'll never be fully happy.... But, I know that it's probably my depression and anxiety making me feel that way.

    I hope you can all be ok. I hope you can all help each other. We all need it... And helping each other helps you. Sometimes we answer our own questions through helping others.

    Anyway. I just wanted to rant with whatever is on my mind.

    Good luck all
    Jenumbra likes this.
  2. AdamTide

    AdamTide Well-Known Member

    I'm glad we are a help to you. You sound like a really nice person. One of your last paragraphs shows how caring you are. You can make such a difference in people's lives ! :) I love how you said that you realize that even when things are bad you know that there can still be good days. That shows the power of POSITIVE thinking. It sounds like you have good things ahead of you. Even while dealing with your own pain you STILL care enough to encourage others. That is freakin awesome. :) hug
    Lestat likes this.
  3. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Thanks. I try to be good... But for some reason I don't always do it... Though it's never been my intention to be bad. It's just my emotions.

    I like helping people. I seem to be a magnet for people with problems. It sounds bad, but I don't mind.

    I want to be better. I'm 33 now and I've been on these cycles for 15 years. It's not good.
  4. Jenumbra

    Jenumbra SF Supporter

    Hi Lestat, I'm glad you're feeling better. I'm also having trouble getting out of bed, usually only get up when I'm unbearable hungry, haven't left the house in a week. Medication is helping my anxiety but feeling apathetic. How do you eventually get out of this slump?
  5. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    I can't say I have the answer to that. I may feel a bit better, but not much has changed with getting out of bed. Though, yesterday I promised id have a bath and get dressed (I'm living in my bath robe). I managed it and did feel better.... But I still stayed in bed after.

    I think it's for safety that we do it. We feel safe and we want to isolate ourselves.... We may not know it though.

    I have found that talking to people has helped me most. I talk to people from here and other places. We talk on Skype or other apps. Most have similar problems... But we all help each other.
    AdamTide, Jenumbra and Brian777 like this.
  6. AdamTide

    AdamTide Well-Known Member

    Talking definitely helps. It helps get your emotions and feelings and thoughts OUT. You are a fighter and you're going to be just fine. hug
    Lestat likes this.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there, I am replying to your thread because 1) I care and 2) I can relate. I used to suffer severe nausea from severe anxiety to the point i was very underweight (that's a good few years back), the doctor's prescribed a medicine called stemetil for it and it helped a bit, im also drinking slimfast shakes but for weight loss. I hope you can get these issues ironed out and you can be well again. I feel for you and I am sorry for what you are going through, try and get out of bed and go for a walk and see how you feel ((big hugs))
    AdamTide and Lestat like this.