It's past midnight and for the umpteenth time I am awake and can't sleep. Feeling middle aged and depressed and want to kill myself but don't know how or if I have the guts. Feel really stuck in life - house is a mess, can't cook and husband hates that, never go out apart from to work, never see friends only work colleagues, can't get a promotion or find a new job though very bored and always fail at interviews, don't feel inspired to do anything and don't feel there is any reason for anything, feel stupid and have a slow brain which can't function anymore and can't explain any more.
