feeling completely insane and suicidal *triggering to fuck*

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by feathers, Feb 26, 2011.

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  1. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    hahaha i have felt so bad today.. so abandoned. so worthless. useless. ugly. disposable.

    i have stupid amounts of pills lying in front of me... i am so close so starting on them... and you know what. the person who made me feel this way knows it and hasn't said a fucking thing. because he thinks i hate him, but if i hated him why would i be feeling this bad over the fact he just decided to spring on me that he doesn't fucking want me anymore.

    what is it to him ?? having sex, holding hands, laughing together
    cuddling up for hours
    disposable.
    just like me.
    as soon as he finds somoene better i become worthless anda ll of the means nothing
    fuck all

    maybe i won't kill myself maybe i'll do it then go to then go to the hospitall... they might take me seriously then. maybe they'll fucking listen to me instead of thinking i'm just a stupid kid talking shite!!!

    hahaha i love the way taking more meds than I'm meant to instantly makes me feel better... i laugh at the damage i might be causing.. i am empowered with the control... once you start taking it is so easy to not stop.. it is just soo so easy to keep going...

    makes me feel so instantly better... it's so difficult to start but then when you do you don't have to stop...

    everything is falling apart at the same time because my supposed best friend can't cope with my mental illness, he can't cope with how much my morals change...

    nhs couldnt care honestly..

    no one could

    started ODing.. stopped at a safe level... although 2.5x recmomended dosage... who cares?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 26, 2011
  2. Please don't OD my dear.. You can visit the hospital's emergency department and ask for a psychiatrist to talk to you.. Don't overdose anymore.. seek help.. Take care and :hug: Hope to see you get better..

    <<Please don't scold me for this..>>
    I know you love your bf but if he is treating you in that manner, ditch him.. He is treating you as if you are a sex toy.. Comeon, there are so many good guys on this earth..
     
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    please stop kazine...he's not worth you killing yourself or damaging your body over..
    you are worth so much more....
    get yourself away from the pills...
     
  4. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    I am ok. Took more, and I went to hospital, and I talked to some mental health worker for 2.5 hours who is the first to actually recognise how urgent I am and is going to try her hardest to get me somewhere in the system.
    sorry to worry you guys :/
     
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