A few months ago, I thought I was happy and I thought things were heading in a good direction. Right about now, I'm unhappy, having a hard time enjoying things I love and I'm not sure what my future holds. I love animation, writing and other artistic things and I want to do them and enjoy it, it's just not coming very easily. It starts to feel empty for some reason. I feel very isolated and I need to get help, but for some reason I can't seem to trust anyone with personal worries. A few months ago, I thought things were clicking into place, that I'd finally figured out how to be consistently happy and secure and I got a lot more things done faster during that time. Now I've gone and started crying and thinking about suicide again. I feel like I'm always taking two steps forward and then two steps back. It seems stupid, nothing ever clearly changes to trigger me stepping in either direction. At the same time I'm typing this, though, I think I feel a bit better knowing people will see this and do what they can to help through their words, even though they're not really here talking to me.