Feeling Depressed....

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by brknsilence, Nov 4, 2015.

  1. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I feel depressed over last night. I was trying to take care of myself by getting a nice bath. During the process of getting the bath, I noticed how my body looked awful to me. I cried silently off and on - trying not to let my husband hear me. I was so upset.

    After getting my bath, I took Nyquil because I been sick with a cold (I think it's a cold). Still upset over how my body looks and hurting due to the sore muscles, I had a glass of wine.

    It didn't take long and everything kicked in.. i got really tired so I was able to fall asleep easy. My thoughts wanted to take benadryl on top of everything. I just wanted all the feelings of being upset and feeling ashamed to go away.

    I woke up feeling depressed. I haven't eaten anything today. I don't want to really. I just been wanting to get this weight off of me.

    I'm so exhausted and tired of feeling like a prisoner to this eating disorder. I'm tired of living like this.

    Next week, I'm planning to look for a therapist. I just can't do this anymore....