Feeling down again

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by *dilligaf*, May 7, 2009.

  1. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Having a bad night again tonight :sad: I feel like I want to get up and do something .. but I don't know what. I texted my mate hinting that I was feeling shit, trying to get her to meet up with me, but she wasn't interested. When I told her I was down she said "Oh, that's not good." Hmm, understatement :dry:

    Then I log onto MSN and see my little cousin's MSN name is "I miss you so much nan (U) :'( " So obviously I asked her if she was okay, and she starts crying to me about how much she misses our Nan and how she wishes she were here to see her now and things like that.
    I know the feeling so well. I wish she was here to see me joining the Samaritans and helping people. I wish she were here to see me happy with someone. I wish she was here to meet *. I wish she was here to see me and my Mum living together. Part of me thinks that she CAN see these things .. but it's not the same.

    It's 2 years next month since she died and I think that is starting to affect us all quite badly. I don't know if I can deal with the next two months (her birthday is in July)

    Urgh I don't know I'm just feeling shit tonight :sad:
  2. Advent

    Advent Well-Known Member

    Hi, your post stuck a chord with me.

    I lost my gran some 10 years ago now, and like you that birthday anniversary is looming yet again. Infact its the 18th July. Not a day goes by without me thinking of her and as time passes it does get easier (cliche I know but its true) but I do know that she would not want me to be sad, she even said not two days before she died "now dont you be all miserable and crying all the time, when I`m gone".

    These words are what I think of when I feel low thinking about her.

    She is up there smiling at you and wishing you were not sad, I am sure of it.

  3. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Hey Rich,

    Thank you for your reply. I'm sorry for your loss :hug:

    Yeah its pretty close. My Nans anniversary is June 14th and her birthday is July 21st.

    Thanks again for your words x
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    I'm sure your Nan would be proud of you for helping other people.