I normally just let moments like these pass on without a word, but I need to just let it out. This will be random, just warning readers now. I'm having a lonely Saturday night. To insecure to go anywhere or meet new people as usual. I feel like I'm 40 something. I don't even look my age either. My step dad says I try to hard to look like a teenage girl and that I should be glad I look like an older woman. I'm not glad about that. Whenever I do go somewhere, I look around and notice I make up the size of 2 average girls. I'm like some fat ass tall whale that gets mistaken for a man. I get talked to like I'm a pet by most people in school and in public. I also feel like nothing but a pet. A pet that walks with her big feet turning inwards since birth (Pigeon-Toed). Ugh.. I'm so jealous of beautiful feminine girls that walk normal! Not long ago I signed up on a site and received 0 hotness votes, 0 comments, and 0 favorites. I checked out other girls that were new to and my age and they had 10+ of each already. I finally got so depressed by it that I said "fuck it, I'm not good enough" and deleted the account. Bleh.. I don't even think my boyfriend loves me either. He only calls me cute names and says he loves me when hes turned on. When hes not, he wont even talk to me or say he loves me. He doesn't call me beautiful or even bother to cheer me up. I don't think its gonna work, but I just wanted to be someones girlfriend so I'd have somewhat of a comfort knowing I belong to someone. Fuck, every relationship I've ever been in has been a long distance lie. I'm nothing more than a toy and a pet. Might as well start walking around with a dog collar. Somebody just kill me please. :cry: