Feeling down.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Avarice, Nov 20, 2011.

  1. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I'm feeling really down and on the verge of doing bad things to myself. I want to cut myself for the first time in over two years. I took my pills to try and numb the pain but it didn't work. I really want to get drunk and forget. I don't know why I'm writing this here - I just want to get it out I guess. My heart hurts but it really *really* shouldn't. I've grown attached to somebody I never intended to grow attached to, and now they've met somebody else.. I feel so much pain. I have no idea what I'm doing. I can't compare to her. I need to grow up but I don't feel I can. I can't sleep and my appetite is all but gone. I can't stop thinking and thinking and thinking. I want to puke but I don't have the energy; I want to cry but there are no tears. I'm in this weird, limbo-like place where I can't express my sadness but I can't get over it either. My belly aches from churning so much. I don't want to like anyone ever again - it's not worth all this pain and suffering when it goes wrong or doesn't end the way you want it to.
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    I am so sorry that you are sad :hug:
    You have done so well not hurting yourself for two years - please try hard to hold onto that thought and to be strong.
    I know how it feels to attach to someone and wish you hadn't. I know about the hollowness and the feelings of rejection and the anger at yourself for having attached at all in the first place. I empathise. I know that you know it passes - the pain - and that telling you this isn't going to gelp you feel better right now. I am sorry.
    Please hold on through this horrible part and know in your head, even if you cannot do so in your heart, that it will get better.
  3. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your kind words - they helped a lot.
    I've just got to ride through it and see it out to the other end. I feel better now but it might be because I'm really tired. Thanks again for your message, I appreciate it. :hug:
  4. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Sorry you are feeling so down as well.. :hug: there are people here for you.. Hope you feel better.
  5. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Thank you. :hug: