Feeling down.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Avarice, Nov 20, 2011.

  1. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I'm feeling really down and on the verge of doing bad things to myself. I want to cut myself for the first time in over two years. I took my pills to try and numb the pain but it didn't work. I really want to get drunk and forget. I don't know why I'm writing this here - I just want to get it out I guess. My heart hurts but it really *really* shouldn't. I've grown attached to somebody I never intended to grow attached to, and now they've met somebody else.. I feel so much pain. I have no idea what I'm doing. I can't compare to her. I need to grow up but I don't feel I can. I can't sleep and my appetite is all but gone. I can't stop thinking and thinking and thinking. I want to puke but I don't have the energy; I want to cry but there are no tears. I'm in this weird, limbo-like place where I can't express my sadness but I can't get over it either. My belly aches from churning so much. I don't want to like anyone ever again - it's not worth all this pain and suffering when it goes wrong or doesn't end the way you want it to.
     
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    I am so sorry that you are sad :hug:
    You have done so well not hurting yourself for two years - please try hard to hold onto that thought and to be strong.
    I know how it feels to attach to someone and wish you hadn't. I know about the hollowness and the feelings of rejection and the anger at yourself for having attached at all in the first place. I empathise. I know that you know it passes - the pain - and that telling you this isn't going to gelp you feel better right now. I am sorry.
    Please hold on through this horrible part and know in your head, even if you cannot do so in your heart, that it will get better.
    xxxx
     
  3. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Thank you for your kind words - they helped a lot.
    I've just got to ride through it and see it out to the other end. I feel better now but it might be because I'm really tired. Thanks again for your message, I appreciate it. :hug:
     
  4. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Sorry you are feeling so down as well.. :hug: there are people here for you.. Hope you feel better.
     
  5. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Thank you. :hug: