Hey I'm new and I'm not really suicidal, however I used to be. I'm 14 years old and I'm a male. I'm in 9th grade and went to highschool coming from a very small school into a larger highschool. Well, during 8th grade I was 5' 10" and about 210 lbs. Over the summer I started working out and went on a strict diet by now I am 5' 11", 170 lbs, and 24.6% body fat. But now days I just freak out about food. When I walk in public I feel like everyone is looking at me and saying things, when I eat afterwards I feel very depressed and almost guilty. Sometimes I resort to hurting myself to keep my mind off food, I don't cut but I will usually hit my head into something or punch something just anything that will keep my mind on the pain instead of food. I feel so fat all the time but people say I don't look THAT fat but I feel like I can't trust them. I haven't just ever stopped eating for long periods of time but often I do 3 days without eating. Almost all day I think about how fat I am or what I ate. I can't just be comfortable in my own body anymore. I get myself very depressed. Sorry this may seem stupid. This also plays a big role in my social life. I haven't had a relationship with a girl (not counting a good friend who I kissed once). It's hard for me to talk to girls because I'm so self conscious I feel fat and stupid around them. I just need some help on what to do I feel like I have no way out of this nasty body I'm in.