Feeling fine but still want to die...?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Lost&Lonely, Apr 29, 2008.

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  1. Lost&Lonely

    Lost&Lonely Member

    Wow I havent been here for nigh on three years so where to begin. Well I got my degree, I went travelling around America, worked at a summer camp, gained a spot on a teaching degree and now I have just 7 more weeks to go and I have another qualification to add to my bow. I have loving friends and family and everything is great. But I still want to die, I dont get it. It doesnt make any sense to me what so ever.

    I feel ok and yeah even happy sometimes but the nagging feeling of wanting to do it is always there. I'm scared now slightly more than I was when I was a deranged and scared lunatic. I feel so eerily calm about it that I have now begun to start looking for certain medications to take and buy to overdose on.

    Feeling the way I am at the moment - having a happy death wish scares me. Half of me doesnt want to do this is what I truly want. Has anybody ever felt the same? Please.
  2. NiTy

    NiTy Account Closed

    Hi Lost&Lonely,

    I really don't have anything to contribute, other than that is exactly why I am here as well. I'm not depressed; I certainly don't have a "bad" life in any sense of the term. I think that's the scariest part-- knowing that my feelings aren't being driven by a specific cause.

    Again, I really don't have anything else to say, and I can't articulate it any more than you just did. But know that you're not alone.


  3. francez

    francez New Member

    I feel the same way as you. The death is the only thing I look forward. I am not in depresion or sth, but I was in the past time. Believe me It doesnt scare me to cut my wrist. If the inner true wishl appear I will do it, and it will be done without fear, big mind troubling or caring about my friends and family. Now I am waiting for that moment... without hesitate...


    Sry for my eng
    Last edited by a moderator: May 2, 2008
  4. francez

    francez New Member

  5. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    I feel the same way. By and large I am indifferent (sometimes happy but sometimes down, of course), and the thoughts remain anyway.
  6. Xian

    Xian Well-Known Member

    i can get into those states too. its critical that you not let yourself slip into sadness because you're on the fence right now and its obvious by the fact that you still want to die or the idea of dying is still appealing... its very unlikely that you'd attempt now though because you can feel that things are going well. but if things start going wrong your mind is more than willing to slump again and thats when you're in danger. like i said try hard to take the opportunity and don't slip backwards.
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