Feeling frustrated

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by sadhart, May 15, 2014.

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  1. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I ended up in a hospital on march 10th and afterwards, I went to a recovery house for alcohol which is where I've been since. It's okay I guess....I'm grateful that it's close to an area in the city where I can go to various places and events and all. I'm also working so that's good too. But the one aspect of my life that is still bothering me is my family. A couple of weeks ago for example, someone at the recovery house encouraged me to use his phone to talk to my great aunt. I was reluctant, but I did. I kind of opened up about how it's nice to be in an area that is rich in culture unlike the small, stagnant town I was so used to living in. I was also trying to tell her about how it was one of the things that was helping me stay sober, (though oddly enough I'm not sure why because there are so many bars, liquor stores and beer serving events in this area). She didn't seem to care and once again started talking about how I never listen to them (my family) I have always found this aggravating because a) I do listen to them. b) they don't seem to listen themselves. And c) I have come to realize that when she or someone in my family says that what they really mean is that I don't blindly and thoughtlessly agree with something they say especially when it's regarding my life.

    The last one bothers me simply because while I make efforts to work on myself, they really don't do the same. More so, they don't even have the balls many times to look in the mirror at themselves. They remind me of medusa if that makes sense. Really, all they do is get old and claim they are set in their ways. That pisses me off, because often times they use that as an excuse to keep doing wrongs that existed long before their old age could be used as an excuse. The only difference between their wrongs and mine is that they don't have theirs held over their heads all the damn time. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am so sick of being scapegoated by them. So many times I have had it thrown in my face that they could throw me out of the house and if I don't like it (the way they act) then I can leave. First off I don't know many people who would like to put up with self righteous hypocriscy and second, they assume when they say leave that means I can up and go out and get my own damn apartment just like that (especially my mother's sister and I don't have the energy to rant about that bitch right now) More so, when they say leave like they do they don't realize how stupid that is to say to me....because I think about leaving....alot, if you get my drift. I cannot deny I have caused them grief at times, but they never see the hurt they have caused and have no problem taking me for granted.

    I have been sober for two months, but right now, I wonder if tha even means anything. Sorry for writing so much and sorry if this made no sense.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    The fact you've been sober for 2 months DOES mean something... that's an amazing accomplishment and something to be proud of!! :hug: I'm sorry your family doesn't see it that way. It sounds like they never truly listen to you, and that isn't fair. But all you can do is work on yourself, make the changes that feel right for your own life. You're doing the right thing in trying to make your situation better.
  3. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    how much longer are you at the recovery place?
    agreed with cherry, it is an achievement and half.

    how about a letter instead of a phone call explaining this to them? idk..
  4. Hatshepsut

    Hatshepsut Guest

    I want to congratulate you for staying away from alcohol. It's hard to do. It was hard for me.

    I'm not judging you or your situation or your family in any way. Obviously I do not know what will take place in your life and future. Since I'm just as messed up as anyone else here, I'm reluctant to attempt to advise, and really don't have standing to do so. But I think you deserve a heads-up about what could happen, and from your post, eviction does seem like one possibility.

    Strategies exist for you. It may be a good idea to apply for public housing right now.

    I'm old enough to be set in my ways. I've done, and still do, a lot of things that were wrong 35 years ago and are still wrong now. I have never had children, or had family or other dependents living in my own house.

    But I think it's hard from both ends. If you are an adult, then any person you are living with, including a parent, has a legal and ethical right to ask you to move out. They owe you reasonable notice, say 30 days, if they make this demand. But it is within their rights, even if you are unemployed and have no means of support.

    Because of that, if you want to live there, you will probably have to humor them even if it sucks.

    It usually takes a long time to get in public housing, so apply even if you don't think you need an apartment yet. That way, the ball starts rolling if you are on a wait list. There is no fee to apply. If you are later offered a unit and don't need it, you can turn it down at that time. Ask staff at the recovery house or in your local substance abuse or mental health systems about housing. They may be able to help you find a place to live, even if they can't provide it for you directly. If you experience a sudden housing crisis, you might look at homeless shelters. If you are being physically abused, you might look at domestic violence shelters.

    I've only replied because I'm not sure anyone else on this forum will give a "hard facts" response.

    Good luck to you. You always deserve the best things in life.

    :mod: .. :mod:
    Last edited: May 15, 2014
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