I ended up in a hospital on march 10th and afterwards, I went to a recovery house for alcohol which is where I've been since. It's okay I guess....I'm grateful that it's close to an area in the city where I can go to various places and events and all. I'm also working so that's good too. But the one aspect of my life that is still bothering me is my family. A couple of weeks ago for example, someone at the recovery house encouraged me to use his phone to talk to my great aunt. I was reluctant, but I did. I kind of opened up about how it's nice to be in an area that is rich in culture unlike the small, stagnant town I was so used to living in. I was also trying to tell her about how it was one of the things that was helping me stay sober, (though oddly enough I'm not sure why because there are so many bars, liquor stores and beer serving events in this area). She didn't seem to care and once again started talking about how I never listen to them (my family) I have always found this aggravating because a) I do listen to them. b) they don't seem to listen themselves. And c) I have come to realize that when she or someone in my family says that what they really mean is that I don't blindly and thoughtlessly agree with something they say especially when it's regarding my life. The last one bothers me simply because while I make efforts to work on myself, they really don't do the same. More so, they don't even have the balls many times to look in the mirror at themselves. They remind me of medusa if that makes sense. Really, all they do is get old and claim they are set in their ways. That pisses me off, because often times they use that as an excuse to keep doing wrongs that existed long before their old age could be used as an excuse. The only difference between their wrongs and mine is that they don't have theirs held over their heads all the damn time. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am so sick of being scapegoated by them. So many times I have had it thrown in my face that they could throw me out of the house and if I don't like it (the way they act) then I can leave. First off I don't know many people who would like to put up with self righteous hypocriscy and second, they assume when they say leave that means I can up and go out and get my own damn apartment just like that (especially my mother's sister and I don't have the energy to rant about that bitch right now) More so, when they say leave like they do they don't realize how stupid that is to say to me....because I think about leaving....alot, if you get my drift. I cannot deny I have caused them grief at times, but they never see the hurt they have caused and have no problem taking me for granted. I have been sober for two months, but right now, I wonder if tha even means anything. Sorry for writing so much and sorry if this made no sense.