Feeling Great About Myself Now

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by duka, Sep 15, 2011.

  1. duka

    duka Well-Known Member

    Okay, so I haven't been on here for a while, but I just had to come back and talk about the changes I've gone through since my last visit. First, some background about my love life: Never had a girlfriend, never been kissed, obviously still a virgin, and I've never exactly had to beat the women off with a stick, either. It didn't always bother me so much. I was always kind of a loner anyway. But for the past couple years I was constantly anxious about finding a girlfriend, worried that it would never happen. I'd often worry about things like my style, my height, my financial situation, my muscles, and how all that would increase or decrease my chances of getting a girlfriend. I spent many nights tossing and turning while thinking of all the girls I knew and whether any of them might like me.

    Then I realized my mistake. I wasn't thinking far enough ahead. Spending all that time being desperate I was really just setting myself up for disaster. I didn't realize it back then, but I was so desperate I would have fallen head over heels in love, not just with a woman I was happy and compatible with, but with any woman I was attracted enough to. It wouldn't have mattered what her personality was like, I would have been prepared to spend the rest of my life with whichever pretty girl said "yes" first, making do with the rest, and it might have also been a similar situation for her.

    Now I have a better idea of what I want out of a relationship, but I'm also much more aware of just how unlikely it is for me to ever find it. But that doesn't bother me now, because now I know what I'm missing, both the good and the bad. If I were to ever settle into a relationship now, I'd want to make sure we were happy together on a personal level, and not just because of the relief from loneliness a relationship would give both of us. And I'd want to make sure that there was absolutely nothing I disliked about her, no matter how insignificant it would seem at the time. Sadly, like I said, those relationships are rare (much rarer than Hollywood or lovey-dovey young couples like to think), so I'll probably never find that kind of love. I suppose that makes me a loser according to society. Anyone in a relationship is seen as having a successful love life, regardless of how short or misguided it is. And people who have had many relationships are also seen as successful, even if all of those relationships were supposed to last forever. But I can take pride, even as a "loser," that I've come to terms with what I really want before I made any mistakes. And all that before 23!