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Feeling guilty for creating suffering

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by kind, Jun 2, 2013.

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  1. kind

    kind New Member

    Hello, this is my first post on this forum and I'm hopeful that maybe some of you might have some wisdom to share with me.

    I'm having a hard time wording what I want to communicate, not only because English isn't my first language but also because feelings are hard to put into words which I'm sure you're all aware of. Basically, my issue is that the fact that I'm constantly creating some sort of suffering is messing with my brain. I just feel so guilty. I know not everything of my existence has a negative effect, but the positive points definitely do not out-weigh the bad stuff. I'm actively participating in the destruction of our planet, the exploitation of people in poorer countries, contributing to animal suffering, making people uncomfortable and even though I'm working really hard on doing less of these bad things I know my existence is never going to be "suffering-neutral" or whatever you'd call it and just living on is hard for me. I've been thinking about killing myself so I'd at least minimize the negative impact I'm having. I don't know. I'm not enjoying life at all but I also don't feel like I'd deserve to because I'm creating such a huge load of suffering. I'd rather just have all of this end.

    I hope this made at least some sense. If any of you have something constructive to say, I'd be forever thankful!
  2. snarrylover

    snarrylover Well-Known Member

    By "actively participating" do you mean going out and doing cruel things on purpose? Or is it a sort of by-product of other actions?

    If it's the first then I urge you to stop. If it's the second, then you are truly not alone.

    Many of us try our hardest to be the best we can and cause the least suffering with our actions, but no one, not a single person, is without guilt. I'm strongly against animal abuse and I'm a vegetarian...but I still contribute to the awful animal farming industry by eating diary products and by wearing leather shoes. My point is, no matter how against something you are and no matter how good and guilt-free you try to be...it is simply impossible because of the way the world works. You just have to play your part and do what you believe in.
  3. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    wow wow wow...if you see the world like that man, that's going to get depressed...sadly the world cannot be peace all the time...it's just not made that way...there needs to be a balance of both in order to work...before you say poor person, you have to think that you don't know her/his past..sometimes what we do, what we say comes back to kick us in the butt..and responsibility always comes back to us wether we take it or not...

    you cannot take the world on your shoulders...what you're doing is already huge...take it one thing at a time...recycle as much as you can...and do other things like eating only when you're hungry or smaller portions etc...be realistic also with what you can do and focus on the good you do, not the rest...

    forgot to say that you are not creating suffering...
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I think we forget how very small and imperfect we are...each of the things you have listed as contributing to the negative space around us has a way to make some balance...volunteer some place which serves the greater good...become an intern in a humanistic organization...do something to 'right' some of the wrongs you are feeling...and realize that although you are wonderful and meaningful, like all of us, you are temporary...I am hopeful you will accuse yourself less, forgive yourself more and contribute to a better way to be here
  5. kind

    kind New Member

    Thank you all for your replies.

    I am not doing anything particularly bad, just like an average human I suppose. But it still makes me feel bad because humanity is destroying our planet and causing a lot of suffering – and then I guess being just average is definitely not enough.
  6. CGMAngel

    CGMAngel SF Supporter

    kind -

    One thing in particular stood out for me in your first post. You wrote: "I'm working really hard on doing less of these bad things."

    I think that, in itself, is a good reason to let go of some of your guilt. So many people out there couldn't care less how much suffering they are causing; they are too focused on fulfilling their own needs.

    I think it is great that you are aware of the suffering in the world and are doing your best to address some of those issues. The world needs more people like you! Let yourself off the hook.

    One positive way you can contribute is to spread the word, so to speak. Try to make other people aware of what is going on in the world. Together, we CAN make a difference. (Sorry for the cliché, but it is true.)
  7. kind

    kind New Member

    Thank you so so much, this comment just made me feel a lot better. I guess I'm gonna be okay.
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