I feel really thick lately, mentally and physically, heavy. I keep making mistakes, going in to work late, forgetting to go in at all. I'm not usually like this at all. I don't understand, I feel like I've fallen out of the world I used to live in. It feels like I'm in this soft vice, there's all this cushioned pressure on my chest and my thoughts, this weird heavy softness. I can think straight or communicate, I feel so sick and rotten. I went to the supermarket to get some food this evening and I just felt this blistering strangeness, I don't feel anxious, but it's this constant physical and mental sensation, and I look around and I don't understand how everyone else seems to be gliding and passing through it and living in it like it's normal when it feels so foreign, everything is changed, the light, gravity. I know that the world can't be different, but then I can't explain what has happened and how I feel. I feel like I'm being watched. I don't want to be here because it is so overwhelming and unfamiliar and uncomfortable, heavy and bad. I keep thinking that If I was truly unwell, I wouldn't know this, or I would think that the world had changed but not know that it can't have changed. So I can't be unwell, and I don't know what this means. Am I faking it? It feels like a test, like; 'Prove it that your not faking it!'. Who am I faking it for? No one knows, I haven't told anyone that this is how I feel right now, no one knows. But how do people not know? I look like a dead person, my face looks like it's dead and full of pus. I'm in limbo by not acting on it when my body tells me to. I can't think straight or function. I don't understand how they don't know, and that makes me think they do and that they're waiting - not in a mean way, just waiting like it's now. Like how the world is strange, this too seems strange, and I know it can't be right, but it feels real to me.