Feeling Hopeless

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by hopeless, Jun 12, 2007.

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  1. hopeless

    hopeless Well-Known Member

    lately, i've been sitting and home and thinking - What's the point in living? i do nothing all day long. i can't work. i can't concentrate. all i do is take up space and make other people upset. why should i have to live anyway. what good is it doing anyone for me to stay alive? i can't be with my husband because he worries that he will come home and find me dead. he's a contractor, and i am never in one place long enough to find a new therapist and doctor. i feel like such a burden to everyone. i just wish my husband would take a permanant contract so i can be with him. i can't stay with him and not have a p-doc and therapist. i have to have my medicine and i need to have a therapist in order to keep from killing myself. one day i want to be better and not need these things, but for now, i have to have them. what's the point in going on when there's nothing to go on for.:unsure:
     
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You do have something to go on for. You say that you think you will not always feel this way and that you would like to be happy again. The possibility that that exists for you in your future tells me you want to live and should. I know how difficult it can be to wait for that time to come. Hold onto the thoughts that things may change. Is it possible for you to live in a large enough area that your husband can find enough contract work that he can be home every night, or on the weekends? Have you discussed with him how you feel? Please take care of yourself. I hope things do change for you, and soon. :hug:
     
  3. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    for me, i hope these feelings of terminal depression and suicide will one day go away, not likely tho. but you have good things in your life to help you through your times of despair. you have your husband. remember that. you have ppl that love you. just remember that.
     
  4. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    I feel exactly the same as you but at least this forum seems to offer some support i have only registered today so bear with me but ill be happy to talk to you when things are feeling so pointless
     
  5. hopeless

    hopeless Well-Known Member

    gentlelady,
    i wish we could live in a place that he could contract and be home every night. this just hasn't bee possible. i am hoping that he is offered the position in Alaska. that way we could live in one place, and he could afford not to contract anymore.

    jcat and Georgia,
    thanks for your support.

    i hope one day that i can have hope that it will get better. it's just that whenever it seems like it's getting better, things fall apart and i do another spiral downward. for now i'm just holding on by a thread and trying to stay safe. my hubby said if i have to go in the hospital again, that he won't be able to stay married to me anymore. that is my worst fear. i love him and if i didn't have him i would already be dead. he just feels that if i have another episode that there is nothing more that he can do for me and he has to move on. :sad:
     
  6. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Hi
    Its so hard when our partners or husbans feel they can understan, if we were to break an arm they could see us heal, but with depression or mental health issues there is nothing visible and they can not always see the positive. I hope he finds it in him to suupport you a little more as we are all sufferers not just those in turmoil but our families to and we all need to try and support each other, easy to say i know and what a perfect world if it happened that way, but hang in there today is a bleak grey day for me but im just taking it hour by hour and have no great expectations

    Please keep safe
     
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