feeling hopeless

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by serena, Sep 25, 2010.

  1. serena

    serena Well-Known Member

    My DBT therapist hasn't called me back even though I've paged her twice today. It makes me wonder if I'm doing something wrong but how many times am I supposed to try? I had an awful day. I exercised this morning with my coaches but it didn't bring me any pleasure or even contentment. I had suicidal thoughts which haven't been as prevalent these last couple of weeks. I don't really want to die but I'm tired of living this way. My whole family seems happy aside from me. I'm so depressed and I hate the weekends where I am expected to do things but don't get to see a therapist. How can I make it through a shift of work tomorrow? I wish I could escape from the world and heal somewhere. I almost wish I was in a residential hospital but the only options are locked, impatient units where there is not the slightest chance of finding happiness or hope. I need to fill the void in me but I don't know how. I don't feel connected to anyone aside from some of my therapists. What can I do tonight? Watching TV or using the computer makes me feel gross for some reason. I got stuck in my old patterns again today. I was supposed to go on a college visit with my mom then later go out to eat and to some event but instead I stayed in my bed and slept on and off. I disappointed my mom and myself and am left with feelings of regret. I am hating my life this moment and wish there was SOMETHING to make me feel better. Anything. Someone to listen to me and understand me. Someone to help me feel good about myself when I feel so low. I probably won't get into that college now that on my record it will show I didn't show up. I am so miserable and everything seems so hopeless.
    Someone or something help me.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I hope your therapist contacted you and that you continue to write here and get the support you need...you deserve it...please go into chat, post or PM someone so that you are not alone...PM me if I can help...J
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    phone college and explain that you were ill They will understand Give ma a call too and see if you can meet up later or just talk for awhile. I hope you are giving meds a try okay they do work Keep chatting here to as it helps Your t probably too busy mine hardly gets back to me as he is very busy too I hope you get that depression checked out okay. Try new med or up the one your on only after talking to your doctor okay Time to change things up abit Don't give up on college okay give them a call. take care