Feeling increasingly suicidal..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by JKA, Feb 4, 2012.

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  1. JKA

    JKA Guest

    Hello, sorry for just barging in here. I just don't have anyone in my life I can tell this to..

    Lately, it seems these thoughts are taking up more and more space in my head.. It comes and goes, but it's at least once per day right now. I will picture myself putting a shotgun between< edit mod total eclilpse method>. I will sit there for quite a while doing this, today I actually cried too. I am kind of a weak person, borderline personality, low self esteem, socially retarded. I have nothing except my two younger brothers to live for, which sorta put brakes on these thought when I had them earlier in life (they did feel less "real" back then though). Now, I am in my mid twenties, have no friends, I know my co-workers don't really like me, have never had a relationship. I've pretty much kept to myself for 5 years now, playing video games and whatever I like doing on the computer, I only go out for work (which isn't actually a "real" job, it's a sort of state funded practice). And generally, I'm just a fuck-up. It just seems you have to be so fucking superficial to make it in this world.

    I just don't know where I go from here.. At least I told this to someone.
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2012
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi JKA don't be sorry hun glad to see you reaching out for support. YOu are not alone now okay you can post here anytime you need someone to listen or just to vent the pain away. You are not what you say hun You are someone special weather you can see that or not you are hun Please know you can pm me anytime you want. please try not to post methods that are too descriptive okay as this could trigger other members Just know we care okay
     
  3. BigTomTooToo

    BigTomTooToo Well-Known Member

    I'm bipolar and I'm less sociable every year! I'm 21 and I failed my last semester of college because of depression, it's retching. I don't think anyone can be a 'fuck-up (I don't compare life to success..) and you're right a lot of this world is superficial. Hang in there !!
     
  4. johnbo

    johnbo New Member

    JKA here, thanks for the replies..

    It seems my account got closed. I'm guessing it's because I registered with a temporary address. I just don't use my regular one for forums etc.. I know a mod will read this, so please just delete this tread... And I'll take my problems elsewhere....
     
  5. johnbo

    johnbo New Member

    So, instead of following my wish of deleting the thread, you go and make me a full member.. Really?

    I just made this account to get it deleted, I have no intention of posting here anymore...

    Now please, delete.
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Please read rules we do not delete threads as people have taken time here to reach out to you to help you and we will not delete their efforts to help you Hope you stay around and see the care that people give here
     
  7. johnbo

    johnbo New Member

    I don't care, that is my personal stuff and it should be taken down if I request it.. Also, it is ME they "reached out" to, so how is that even helpful to others.

    I hope you will delete it.... Bye.
     
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    read the rules hun okay
     
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