Hello, sorry for just barging in here. I just don't have anyone in my life I can tell this to.. Lately, it seems these thoughts are taking up more and more space in my head.. It comes and goes, but it's at least once per day right now. I will picture myself putting a shotgun between< edit mod total eclilpse method>. I will sit there for quite a while doing this, today I actually cried too. I am kind of a weak person, borderline personality, low self esteem, socially retarded. I have nothing except my two younger brothers to live for, which sorta put brakes on these thought when I had them earlier in life (they did feel less "real" back then though). Now, I am in my mid twenties, have no friends, I know my co-workers don't really like me, have never had a relationship. I've pretty much kept to myself for 5 years now, playing video games and whatever I like doing on the computer, I only go out for work (which isn't actually a "real" job, it's a sort of state funded practice). And generally, I'm just a fuck-up. It just seems you have to be so fucking superficial to make it in this world. I just don't know where I go from here.. At least I told this to someone.