feeling less than a human

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by adamsky, Jul 24, 2016.

  1. adamsky

    adamsky Member

    Most know on here that I am liveing in the car for the last 9 months and my health is less than good . But how much more of this torture can I take ?. Each day I try to was with wipes to try and keep clean waking up in total agony .then when folks see you who use to know you they recoil and say you look a mess . That's when I want to scream at them but then I relive I'm no longer worth anything and I go back to hiding . This just a small rant for today was considering geting a hotel for the night just to have a shower it's been 3 months now then I relised I'm broke lol . Just feeling like I'm being pushed to the limit
     
  2. mpk

    mpk Well-Known Member

    adamsky, I am sorry for what you are going through. No one should have to live like this. I have been on the bottom also and it took a lot out of me, I don't think I have fully recovered which is an understatement.
    I know there are no words that can help you yet know you are not alone.
     
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  3. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Have you contacted resources to assist you like getting a shower at the shelter or at church?
     
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  4. adamsky

    adamsky Member

    I would not feel safe going there.
     
  5. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    I can't imagine what you're going through Adamsky, nobody should be homeless in this day and age. It's sad that so few have so much and so many have so little. There has to be a better way of making sure this doesn't happen. I hope you are able to get help where you are and get a fresh start in life.
     
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  6. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    I never used those resources have been homeless but I also had a job at the same time. Constantly on the move and worrying about where to sleep it aged my mind a whole a lot. I had a membership to the gym and showered there majority of the time and at friends at a rare occasion.

    I just remember there were Church people that had a safe place to shower and hot meals here and there but I didn't use it as I could pay my way to getting a hot meal. I understand about shelters there are truly some people there that do stuff to other people there. a lot homeless people don't want to risk their lives in shelters and want to be out in the streets at nights. Ive been waken/scared up by cops flashing a light in my car several times. It sucked
     
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  7. adamsky

    adamsky Member

    Ty I would love to work I'm not one of these lazy types but I'm in constant agony all the time if u could imagine 100 hot pokers being drawn across your back every 15 sec all day and night long you will be close to me wake up coughing blood up in the morning and the doctor are like here have more pain pills I'm like I'm raterling now I want it fixed oh we can't do that till u have a home it's madning it's driveing me to just ending it to stop all the pain
     
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  8. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    I can relate to back pain and pain pills, I went through that hell three months ago when I took myself off them. I still feel the effects of them and now I have the original pain I started them for. I wish there were an answer, but they( the system seem to box you into a corner. After stopping the pain meds my depression and anxiety have become worse, but my head is clear. It's a no win situation. I hope with all my heart that you get a place to stay. Take care my friend.
    Brian
     
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  9. adamsky

    adamsky Member

    Ty so much for your kind words I have 2 years before I can get help according to them in don't plan on being here that long I have weight my options and for me there is no way out