Feeling like a failure

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by parkerv2, Jul 28, 2016.

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  1. parkerv2

    parkerv2 New Member

    I am 29 years old. Ever since I graduated from college and dropped out of law school I haven't been able to find full time work. I had a job for a short time but left in order to pursue another degree that I hopped would increase my earning potential.

    Now that I have completed that program I find myself in what I've termed the experience roundabout. I feel cheated by the school I went to since they didn't think to mention that every damn job posting would require 1 year of experience in the field. This is the reason I went back to school because I kept getting passed over at other jobs. (I often feel like my being invited to the interview is a formality, they have no intention of hiring me and I'm just one of the people they call in so when someone calls them out on nepotism or favoritism is discrimination they can say "Hey we interviewed 10 people").

    At 29 I still live with my parents and they take care of me almost entirely a fact that irks them to no end especially my mother who enjoys pointing out that my political views don't match my lifestyle. It seems every week or so my mom gets upset with me because she doesn't think I'm doing enough to get hired.

    I admit that most of this is my fault. I really don't want to work for minimum wage as I have student loans to repay and I have put in the work that was supposed to give me decent wages. I know its selfish and conceited but I also don't want to have to take a job where I'll be standing in a paper hat in front of one the people who was a class-A jerk to me in high school and now works on his daddy's farm for 50 grand a year with a wife and kids and a home.

    All I want is a job and a place of my own so I don't have to beg my parents for money. Frankly I think the good part of my life is over, the moment I signed the intent to graduate form I was set on the path toward tedium and loneliness.

    I want to apologize to everyone for this rant. I know my problems are nothing compared to what you are going through but I needed a place to vent my frustrations . God Bless
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I am sorry that you are struggling to find a job. Hugs. Keep looking.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there and welcome to the forums. I am sorry you are going through a rough time. Are you getting any social welfare payments so you don't have to rely off of your parents? I'm 27 and living at home again (lived with bf's peviously), I know how rotten it feels but please don't think of suicide as a solution,or get some experience even if you have to volunteer without pay. Do you think you can hold off until then?
  4. parkerv2

    parkerv2 New Member

    Thanks for your response, I doubt I qualify for social welfare plus its not really a lack of necessities in my life I have the necessities and I feel terrible complaining about my life because of that. I just don't have the money to go out and enjoy myself. I don't think there are any areas where I can volunteer for experience as my current training is in the paralegal field. Thanks for your help I'm hoping things will get better its just that I'm tired of having to go through all these hoops to find work. There are days where I feel better I think today was juts an unusually bad one because I had a huge fight with my mom.
  5. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid We either find a way, or make one. SF Supporter

    Its always a difficult one between good qualifications and recent/good experience. Its a fine line and I can fully understand your frustrations. I was fortunate. I had no formal qualifications when I left school at 15, but have managed to amass a lot of vocational qualifications throughout my working life. It does tend to limit my employment sector though a lot of the time.

    Keep plugging away, I am sure sooner or later something that is right for you will come along.

    So what was the fight about, if you want to talk about it that is. If not, no worries, just dont want you to feel like you have to bottle it up is all.
  6. parkerv2

    parkerv2 New Member

    I thought I had missed a deadline to apply to retake a certification exam in September. It turned out that it was a mistake on their website but the genie was already out of the bottle at that point. I don't know if other people work like this but when I make one mistake my mom gets on a roll and brings up other mistakes and failings from my past she and dad are both retired and I know I'm a drain on resources. My mom also doesn't think I help out around the house and wants me to work 8 hours a day at home on something.

    That's another reason why its hard for me to wait I hate being a burden on other people (which is why I was hesitant to sign up). I really do hope something comes together soon I don't know if I should just become a pure pest to employers by calling them over and over and applying for every job I'm even slightly qualified for or what. I just know I'm tired of getting the "We hired someone who's qualifications better matched the job." I'd have seen it as an aberation if it weren't for the fact that it has happened for every job I applied for in the past few months not even an interview.

    Again pardon the rambling thanks for talking to me.
  7. SinisterKid

    SinisterKid We either find a way, or make one. SF Supporter

    No worries, thats what we are here for.

    Job hunting can be so soul destroying when its all negative. Some positive feedback never goes amiss.

    I was out of work a long time ago for about 10 months and it almost ended my relationship with my partner. We were broke all the time, never went out anywhere other than the shop once a week and then, out of the blue, two jobs came along at the same time. One part time, one full time. I started the part time one on the Mon, rang my partner at lunchtime, she told me the full time people had tried to contact me, so I rang them and started there on the Tues.

    So these things do change and change very rapidly. Hopefully soon so your parents get off your back. But I do empathise with the position you are in, I do not envy you.
    Petal likes this.
  8. parkerv2

    parkerv2 New Member

    Thanks. I hope things are still going well with you as well.
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    No two people's pain are the same. That is a fact so don't compare what you are going through to the next person as its 100 percent different.I know it seems gloomy but see if you are entitled to payments. Suicide is not the answer. Things CAN change and you can find a job, it is not impossible. I wish you well and hope you feel somewhat better soon. You don't deserve to be going throiugh this but I am glad you joined here and and sharing how you are feeling, that will help alone! (hugs) if allowed :)
    Robert Junior likes this.
  10. moxman

    moxman The "Perfect Life" YouTube channel is neat

    Shot in the dark but what the hell; have you thought about joining the military? With an advanced degree you might be candidate for officer school?

    Have you thought about working out some sort of contract with your parents, they agree to do A, B, C and you do A, B, C?
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