I've been trying to come up with the best way to put into words what it is that I want to say, but I realize that there is no "good" way. I just need to say it instead of keeping it to myself. I found this site yesterday when I was really feeling crappy. The reason for that is because I was feeling like a worthless person who inevitably fails at everything. I'm constantly making stupid mistakes and then beating myself up over making them. Examples of such mistakes are social blunders that I have made without realizing at the time, but finding out afterwards (usually immediately afterwards) that I had said something wrong or offended someone unintentionally, or something as simple as completely screwing up a portion of a math test that I knew how to do only minutes before in my college math class. These feelings of inadequacy are only strengthened by the fact that I've been unemployed for the last three years and have been applying for job after job, only to never make it past the first interview (and in most cases, never even getting an interview). Right now, I live with my parents and want nothing more than to be financially independent and to have a career that I enjoy and makes me feel like I'm doing something important with my life. I fear that this may never happen and that I'll be trapped for the rest of my life, unable to achieve anything. On top of this habit I have of setting a high standard for myself and then failing to meet that standard, I am emotionally unstable. It doesn't take much to set me off, causing me to fall into anger, rage, and/or sadness. To get to the point, everything I have mentioned above has had me considering ending my own life so that I won't have to be haunted by every stupid mistake I've ever made or risk making them again. I also feel like it wouldn't matter if I were to do it because I don't consider myself to be worth much anyway. I haven't actually planned anything or made any attempts, but I have gone as far as researching methods that provide a quick, painless death without making a mess (I didn't find anything useful, since very few methods are guaranteed to be 100% successful and those that would be may be not actually be quick or painless. Most of the time, I'm able to distract myself from these dark thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I manage to go a few weeks or months without having them, before something happens that brings them back like a tsunami of negativity. I apologize for the long post, but I had a lot to say. I'm just glad that I decided to create this thread, even though it brought back everything that I was feeling yesterday when I joined this site (I was feeling almost happy for most of today). I almost considered not posting this, but I decided, in the end, to just do it.