Hi everyone, I'm new here. I honestly don't know if this will help, but I'm desperate and will reach out to any lifeline at this point. I feel so alone right now. So completely forgotten about, just a pathetic dust mite. I grew up with my mom emotionally and physically abusing me, and eventually turning my siblings against me (my sister started abusing me too). It got so bad that I felt my only option was to end it all. I tried killing myself a couple times with no success, and self-harmed more times than I can count. I tried to get help, but the professionals didn't seem to give a crap and threw some drugs at me, which only made me numb. I experimented with drugs and alcohol, and became promiscuous, just searching for something to make me feel better or SOMEONE to love me. I drifted for many years. I have been slowly trying to fix my life, though. I'm glad to say it's been 7 years since my last suicide attempt, and 3 years since my last cut. I've managed to stay at a job for almost 2 years, and I was becoming happy. Now everything's come crashing down again, and I'm panicking. I became pregnant, but my son's father has left us high and dry. The bills are piling up, and I don't know how I'm going to pay them off ever and I'm getting scared. My car broke down and I can't pay for the repairs. I have no close friends, I'm so alone. I feel this ocean of worry and responsibility crushing me, suffocating me. And on top of that, I have to provide everything for my son completely on my own. I have no idea how I'm going to do it and I'm terrified of screwing it up. I feel worthless and so not good enough. I don't deserve him. He needs so much more than I have to give. I'll post again later, this is just what's on my mind right now.