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Feeling like I'm going to be lonely, unloved, unsuccessful and unattractive forever..

Shannew

Well-Known Member
#1
Anyone else.. :(

I know these are just depressive thoughts, but how can anything get better when so far it has only gotten worse and worse? How am I going to find love, friendships, and live a normal life with such a debilitating condition that doesn't let me do anything (e.g. socialize, work, be positive)? No one would want a friend or girlfriend like me.. is this the beginning of the end? :(
 

Shannew

Well-Known Member
#6
@Shannew you're a wonderful person. I have spoken to you in chat :)
There's so much to come....there's so much in ya. Just keep your head up. You are perfect ;)
Take things step by step. You will make it :) We are here for you. Pop in to chat sometimes, okay?

*hug
You got this x
Aww kitten you're so sweet, I really needed to hear that *hug

Its so great talking to you in chat, yes TTYS! :)
 

JDot

J to the Dizzle O to the Tizzle
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#9
Hey @Shannew Feeling unloved and unattractive certainly comes with the depression package. What has helped me with those feelings is self-compassion. If you click on my signature where it says "It's Okay To Be Who You Are" it will take you to an awesome site about self-compassion. If you want to talk more about self-compassion, send me a message in my inbox.
 

Shannew

Well-Known Member
#10
Thank you, it feels better to not be alone with this *grouphug2
If anyone can figure out a way to improve things, I'd love to hear about it.
We have to force away the negative thoughts and ignore the anxious feelings telling us things and people are bad.

I know I have to get therapy, start meds, be more active, see the sun more, stop eating such a horrible diet, and slowly start socializing again. I'm just too overwhelmed right now. One step at a time :))

Also, therapy dogs/animals :)
 

Shannew

Well-Known Member
#11
Hey @Shannew Feeling unloved and unattractive certainly comes with the depression package. What has helped me with those feelings is self-compassion. If you click on my signature where it says "It's Okay To Be Who You Are" it will take you to an awesome site about self-compassion. If you want to talk more about self-compassion, send me a message in my inbox.
Thanks JDot! I've had that feeling lately that maybe I'm hating myself non-directly, so I'm really looking forward to looking at that link! :)
 

Reaver

Well-Known Member
#12
We have to force away the negative thoughts and ignore the anxious feelings telling us things and people are bad.
Ah, if only that was much easier to do. Worrying about things I shouldn't is basically ingrained.

I know I have to get therapy, start meds, be more active, see the sun more, stop eating such a horrible diet, and slowly start socializing again. I'm just too overwhelmed right now. One step at a time :))

Also, therapy dogs/animals :)
Hah, everything that I need to do as well, although I'm not a fan of medication so I dunno about that one *hiding
I've been trying to make friends at least, but can't tell if I'm doing a good job at it (no success yet).
 

Shannew

Well-Known Member
#13
Ah, if only that was much easier to do. Worrying about things I shouldn't is basically ingrained.


Hah, everything that I need to do as well, although I'm not a fan of medication so I dunno about that one *hiding
I've been trying to make friends at least, but can't tell if I'm doing a good job at it (no success yet).
Oh gosh, I know that feeling, it is so hard to change thoughts and feelings, especially ones that have been there for years!

Yeah I used to be against medication for the last couple of years but then everything got 10x worse when I started to have panic attacks every morning so now I've gotta be on it, unfortunately. *blub

Making new friends is seriously such a great step! You're doing so well even if it's a small convo every day - thats really great! Keep going, you're gonna get much better soon <3
 

Reaver

Well-Known Member
#14
Oh gosh, I know that feeling, it is so hard to change thoughts and feelings, especially ones that have been there for years!

Yeah I used to be against medication for the last couple of years but then everything got 10x worse when I started to have panic attacks every morning so now I've gotta be on it, unfortunately. *blub

Making new friends is seriously such a great step! You're doing so well even if it's a small convo every day - thats really great! Keep going, you're gonna get much better soon <3
Oh, I'm sorry to hear about the panic attacks. I'd probably consider medication if I were in that position too, although it still might be hard for me even then.

Trying to make friends does feel nice... when they actually respond *bleh
It's a bit demoralising when most people don't get back to me. I should probably mention it's all online; there's no way I'd be able to do it in person. It would be better for me, I'm sure, but there's just so many things that make it too difficult.
 

Ash600

✮☆Meetup star ☆✮
SF Creative
SF Supporter
#15
I know that feeling all too well, when things hit rock bottom and it seems as if everything has gone to shite. In that moment, it can be hard to find a way through, but quite often, a path will eventually light up in front of you which can lead you to a more stable footing. Taking things in small steps can help at times it seems.
 

Shannew

Well-Known Member
#16
Oh, I'm sorry to hear about the panic attacks. I'd probably consider medication if I were in that position too, although it still might be hard for me even then.

Trying to make friends does feel nice... when they actually respond *bleh
It's a bit demoralizing when most people don't get back to me. I should probably mention it's all online; there's no way I'd be able to do it in person. It would be better for me, I'm sure, but there's just so many things that make it too difficult.
Yeah, it's a bit daunting thinking I might have to be on meds for the rest of my life, but if it makes things easier might be worth it, we will see :)

Aw yeah, I get that, I get super hurt when someone does reply back to me, but just think people have their own issues and its not your fault, they're just busy with something else, doesn't mean they love us any less just can't cope with replying/talking currently. :)

Yeah in person its a lot harder especially when they don't understand mental illness. Sometimes I can fake it, but even then I think what's the point cause if I show this person my real issues, they would just run away or judge me and make me feel horrible. So thinking about that makes online friendships great in comparison, people can understand us a lot better here online.

Either way, if you ever need to chat feel free to message me Reaver :)
 

Shannew

Well-Known Member
#17
I know that feeling all too well, when things hit rock bottom and it seems as if everything has gone to shite. In that moment, it can be hard to find a way through, but quite often, a path will eventually light up in front of you which can lead you to a more stable footing. Taking things in small steps can help at times it seems.
Aw thanks Ash, that's really great advice. I really do need to take it slow right now. Hope we can get through this together *hug
 

Ash600

✮☆Meetup star ☆✮
SF Creative
SF Supporter
#18
Aw thanks Ash, that's really great advice. I really do need to take it slow right now. Hope we can get through this together *hug
Yeah, taking a softly, softly approach is what's normally advised. Go at your own pace is what I say, What I find that helps is that when the rough times hit full on, it can be like a storm and so there is the knowledge that eventually it will pass.

Hope we can get through this together
For sure, tap me up whenever you need mate. *hug
 

Reaver

Well-Known Member
#19
Yeah, it's a bit daunting thinking I might have to be on meds for the rest of my life, but if it makes things easier might be worth it, we will see :)

Aw yeah, I get that, I get super hurt when someone does reply back to me, but just think people have their own issues and its not your fault, they're just busy with something else, doesn't mean they love us any less just can't cope with replying/talking currently. :)

Yeah in person its a lot harder especially when they don't understand mental illness. Sometimes I can fake it, but even then I think what's the point cause if I show this person my real issues, they would just run away or judge me and make me feel horrible. So thinking about that makes online friendships great in comparison, people can understand us a lot better here online.

Either way, if you ever need to chat feel free to message me Reaver :)
I hope the meds work out for you.

Yeah, I need to think about the more positive possibilities than the usual bad ones, like them not liking me and all that. Something I wouldn't have to worry about in person, but there's many other things I'd be worrying about instead *wacko
I can kinda hide my issues (aside from the anxiety) but only if it wouldn't come up in conversation. I don't like lying and I think I'm generally too open with people regardless of how well I know them. Definitely something to work on.

I wouldn't mind chatting directly; it'd be nice to have someone to talk to. My sleep cycle can be pretty problematic though... I'm normally not even awake at this kind of time, to put it into perspective. That and I have trouble coming up with things to talk about.
 

neutralbuoyancy

stuck in place yet again
#20
Anyone else.. :(

I know these are just depressive thoughts, but how can anything get better when so far it has only gotten worse and worse? How am I going to find love, friendships, and live a normal life with such a debilitating condition that doesn't let me do anything (e.g. socialize, work, be positive)? No one would want a friend or girlfriend like me.. is this the beginning of the end? :(
i don't know about the people you have met in ur life, but well, the friends i had irl felt uncomfortable about it but i found friends online that i could speak freely about it with. the people who know me know that all i talk about is dark depressive things, so im pretty sure you can find someone for you too
 
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