feeling like shit yet again...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by pit, May 24, 2007.

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  1. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    I'm short of breath again. It seems every month or every other month I have both asthma and nasal problems. Now I have congestion in my lungs and clogged sinuses.

    I don't need these symptoms right now. I've suffered with asthma since I was two, and from the hundreds of attacks I've had through the years, I'm left physically exhausted.

    Now I'm struggling, trying to get a new career off the ground, hit with bills left and right, medical expenses, et cetera.

    I'd love to quit this life, but there's a wall of pain between me and freedom. That's the only thing preventing me from doing it. I'm afraid of winding up crippled or worse.

    On the other hand, there are times where I'm so full of anger that I might lash out at somebody and do damage to someone else.

    I think the 2000s are really the worst time to be alive. All this technology isolates us even more. Despite the on line comradery, I'd rather be talking to people face to face. Between TV and the computer, it seems the hotshot university eggheads have successfully glued us in front of a box 10 + hours a day. Fuckin' nerds.

    The employment situation sucks. I'd rather be a student for the rest of my life than work for a godamn company. I'd rather feed off of society than have society feed off me.
  2. Tara

    Tara Guest

    do you have anyone you can talk face to face with?

    I know its hard, especially when bills keep coming in. i myself have so many. and its so easy to give up on it all.

    Whats happening with career? are you an entrepreneur?

    Its too easy to just give up and quit. It may take some time, and some struggling but you will eventually get through it, though it may not feel like it soon.

    Hope your illness clears up soon, thinking of you :hug:
  3. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Hey there, you sound really stressed and your health problems ain't helping your situation. Have you spoken to your doctor about your nasal and lung problems? If you're on medication maybe they can up your dosage or suggest another treatment.

    As for the debt, I haven't had much personal experience concerning this area but there are people out there who can help. I see adverts on the TV advertising companies that help people with huge debts. Sorting out their finances so they pay a certain amount each month. What type of career are you going into? Can you get some sort of support or a grant to help you?

    If you're afraid you're going to hurt someone else then I do suggest you speak to a doctor or therapist, maybe try some anger management. Letting your emotions build up and up inside you do not help. You're like a balloon being filled with air and when you get too full you explode and that's not a point we want to get to. You need to find a way to release this air in a safe way. Talking about stuff can help. Sorting out what is wrong in your life and maybe speaking to a doctor or a trained therapist or looking into help for your career is a good step to take. Maybe all three will help you.

    Take care of yourself.
  4. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    I have just a couple friends I talk to face to face every once in a while, but I don't see them that often.

    I'm not eligible for grants. I don't want to be that specific about the career I'm going into. I don't want to be found out, if you know what a mean.

    Thanks for your concern.
  5. Tara

    Tara Guest

    thats okay, you dont have to say.

    Can you not ring these friends to make more meetings? or will that not work out?

    If your not eligible for grants, what about a loan? that way everythings paid off and youve only got one bill a month coming in. just a thought!
  6. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    I go to a depression support group once a week. It helps, but I haven't really made friends with anyone in that group.

    I think it's a fact of life that the older you get, the harder it is to make or keep friends.

    Hey doggies and kitties! Here I come...
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