Feeling lonely

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by petrapige, May 16, 2018 at 6:07 PM.

  1. petrapige

    petrapige Active Member

    I feel so lonely every single day. I used to have a large and close-knit group of friends. In the past couple of years people have drifted apart, made new friends, gotten into relationship, moved away, some got married and all of this is to be expected in your early 20ies I guess.
    I still have a few people I would call "friends" but I can feel them pulling away from me now because I am just not fun to be around and need too much emotional support and everyone has their own lives, relationships, worries etc.

    I feel so lonely now. I have absolutely no one to turn to. My boyfriend broke up with me (can't blame him honestly I wouldn't date me either) and now my friends are drifting away from me too and I only have my family and I am grateful for that but there's only so much personal stuff you want to share with your parents and siblings.. I am all alone all the time, people are busy, people can't be bothered dealing with my depression when they have problems of their own and other friends. Everyone I know is part of another, closer friend group and I need them more than they need me (they don't) because I hardly have anyone left in my life.

    On top of being sad about all this I also completely understand them, I am just a very uninspiring and incompetent person all around. I don't have any significant personality traits to make up for literally being a burden to everyone around me. The few good traits that I have are all things you could easily find a better version of elsewhere.

    I feel like everytime I leave the house everyone can see what a pathetic good for nothing person I am. I have nothing to offer anyone anymore. I used to be fairly confident and now I hate every single part of my personality. I've never been this lonely in my life and don't know what to do. If I died (on purpose or by accident) right now, literally no one would notice for at least 48 hours and maybe not even then.

    Sorry this is so long guess I just had a lot to say.
     
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry to hear that.

    I don't think that's true.

    When you are depressed, it's hard to maintain relationships. Please be gentle with yourself
     
  3. walker95

    walker95 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Social Media SF Supporter

    Hi. What're you doing to try to create new friend circles? What've you already tried?
     
  4. cclun

    cclun Member

    I am so sorry you feel this way. But I am sure if I have a chance to meet you a person I will say what you believe about yourself may not be true. You have gifts, talents, love, and care that others will find. Have you ever tried to focus on the positive traits? Focusing on the negatives sometimes cause us to dig even deeper into the hole of depression. Any friend groups other than family? Being able to share your struggle while having someone else to encourage you to pull out of depression is important. What about a counselor?
     
  5. petrapige

    petrapige Active Member

    Hi everyone thank you for your comments. I am trying to reconnect with some old friends that I never really considered a part of my core friend ground, at the moment it just seems easier. I randomly went out for drinks with a friend's girlfriend this weekend. I don't think we'll be best friends forever but I had a great time.

    How do you make new friends as an adult? It seems so hard. I have withdrawn from uni at the moment (am taking some time off to focus on my mental health) so making friends or connecting with my uni mates doesn't seem like an option at the moment. I also don't have any hobbies that are suitable for group activities or taking classes with a large group to meet new people there.

    Also yes, I definitely do focus more on the negative side of me when I am down (don't we all) and it's a vicious cycle to break. Recently I found a recording on my phone of music I was playing that reminded me that I at least have one minor talent, so it's a start!