Feeling lost

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by afraidoflife, Jan 19, 2015.

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  1. afraidoflife

    afraidoflife Active Member

    Hello. I have had schizophrenia for around 10 years. The last two years I have not been admitted to hospital and things go ok. For around a year I haven't been in touch with mental health services because they rejected me (better health). Now for the last year ish' I struggle with paranoia. I feel that everyone is after me on the streets. And I have gotten a lot of hate against the police for no reason. Sometimes I get rage outbreaks when I snap feel like no control at all. Now I am afraid that I have to go to prison soon, because of my outbreaks I can't control. I will lose my welfare money from government and I will lose my apartment. I pray day in and day out without any help. I tried support phones but they just reject me and hung up. I'm at my end of ropes
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, that is such a tough time you are going through. Dis the crisis line literally hang up on you?? if they did they are not doing their job. I cannot figure out why they would reject you. Schizophrenia is a terrible debilitating illness and I hope you can get through this. Are you really going to jail? Or is that the paranoia talking?

    We are here for you. :hug:
     
  3. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    Afraidoflife - you need to go back to your doctor and explain that you feel that people are out to get you and you are paranoid and afraid. Explain that you keep having rage outbreaks and you are afraid you will hurt someone and end up in prison. That you were discharged from mental health services because you were doing better is great - it is evidence that 'better' is possible for you - but you need help again now. Please make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.
     
  4. afraidoflife

    afraidoflife Active Member

    Thank you both. I value it. I have a bad feeling that the psychiatry won't help me, so maybe I should just wait it out until I get very ill or an outbreak causes me to end up in prison. I have been in a stressful state of mind. Thank you for reading.
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You are very welcome :hug: And I hope things work out well for you.
     
  6. smwhorses

    smwhorses Well-Known Member

    You know you can do better. As hard as it is decide what was helping you and go back to it. Life is always better when you have choices, uncontrolled rages, paranoia and/or jail will take away your choices. I am so sorry none of the health care systems seem to work to really help when you need help the most. Keep trying to find someone who will listen and help.
     
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