I'm feeling really crappy so came on here to distract myself. I've not really posted before but have been reading the forums for a bit, just not felt able to reply.
I'm "recovering" from a mixture of ana and mia...just not doing so good at the moment. Things got pretty bad in December and I was forced to take some time out of uni and move back home. Things did improve....but kinda against my will. So now, a few weeks ago I have returned to uni and things are going downhill again. I restrict when I can and when I emotionally feel shit I turn to binging and purging. I disgust even myself. My housemates are now all aware of my situation given that I had to take time out of uni and lost a lot of weight when things got worse, so its virtually impossible to purge even tho being the vile creature I am that is what I crave most. I also self harm. and this has got a lot worse now as that seems to be a substitute for purging.
I'm scared of things going back to how they were in December...not eating at all for 48 hours ad then binging and purging. I would be so desperate to purge I would go out and use public toilets and even plastic bags in my room. I'm scared to go back to theat state but i miss it so much. I used to spend so much time thinking about suicide and those thoughts are starting to come back again. I'm scared of myself
I'm "recovering" from a mixture of ana and mia...just not doing so good at the moment. Things got pretty bad in December and I was forced to take some time out of uni and move back home. Things did improve....but kinda against my will. So now, a few weeks ago I have returned to uni and things are going downhill again. I restrict when I can and when I emotionally feel shit I turn to binging and purging. I disgust even myself. My housemates are now all aware of my situation given that I had to take time out of uni and lost a lot of weight when things got worse, so its virtually impossible to purge even tho being the vile creature I am that is what I crave most. I also self harm. and this has got a lot worse now as that seems to be a substitute for purging.
I'm scared of things going back to how they were in December...not eating at all for 48 hours ad then binging and purging. I would be so desperate to purge I would go out and use public toilets and even plastic bags in my room. I'm scared to go back to theat state but i miss it so much. I used to spend so much time thinking about suicide and those thoughts are starting to come back again. I'm scared of myself