I feel really low.Ive lost my friends, we dont talk now. Last night I got in the bath, cut myself and wished it would be enough. Then I realised every time I do that it never works and I didnt fancy having to drag myself to A and E, so now my arm just really hurts, when I came down I took the last of my sleeping tablets dosed off and woke up being sick. I wished more than anything that I wouldnt have to wake up, but I did. I've just been speaking to someone and she's really lovely but I couldnt tell her this, I dont want to see the look of disappointment already. I cant be bloody superwoman! i keep trying to get it right and the more I do the more it goes horribly wrong. I dont want to wake up tomorrow, I dont want to feel this anymore, Ive felt this way since I was 7, now Im 23. Ive had enough ,what of I dont know but I cant pretend anymore to be something Im not, Im trying soooo hard to make everyone here think of me as normal and just generally able to cope that now I fall to pieces when Im on my own. I dont know how to get through tonight and I dont know that I really have enough self control to wake up in the morning. Im not sure I want to die, I do know I dont want to live and there is a difference.