feeling my failures

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by itmahanh, Oct 21, 2010.

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  1. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    really bad tonight. realizing that im closing my little guy out. hardly spent anytime with him tonight. my daughter wants to come tomorrow. i said she could but now dotn know. my other son wanted to come to but my daughter doesnt want him here. and my oldest son hardly ever hear from or see hui=im. none of them seem to have an ounce of love for the other and who do you think they learned that from?

    wanted to have so many things done and finished up by this wekend. wanted ot make others prouid. not even close.

    sitting here alone, feeling all the failures, all of them. and the one that causes the biggest fear..... my mental health issues. cuz i cant let go og them. ive had them with me for so long. they are me and im them. im scared to let them go. everytime i have before it ended up in yet another failure. and if i let them go then ill fail at this atempt i dont want to be like this. i really dont. but its all i know anymore so icant let go of my demons either. does anyone out there know what the hell im talking about? im so lost i cant see anything but what i need to.
     
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    sorry I'm of no use to you today...having a rough time myself....
    sending you some of these though :pinkrose: :hug:
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    You sound so overwhelmed...maybe you put too much on your plate to take care of by the weekend...also know, whatever doesn't get done will be there...know how much you are cared for here and that you are not alone...PM me if I can help...big hugs, J
     
  4. Enigmatic Ed

    Enigmatic Ed Well-Known Member

    its not a crime to fail, i fail all the time but you have to keep trying there is a chance one day you will succeed no matter how small the success. flip a coin it wont always come up heads. have faith that the law of averages will eventually notice you and step in with some balance. you gota be i it to win it, so keep trying.
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You know i understand i can't let go of my girl either i have failed with her but someone told me once mmm i have not failed i have done my best with what i have. C you have done your best with what you have on your plate you have loved all your children so don't go there Maybe we loved them too much but is that a crime. The only one that has not failed them is YOU you continue on in your struggles you continue to show strength in your fight with your illness
    I sit too and think about how many ways i failed my girl and if it would be better if i had left the demon is speaking the dam depression is getting your thoughts all confused and wrong. DONT let the demon win okay
    YOU are the best dam thing that happen to those kids because as you told me once they know who to turn to whoto come HOME to and that is YOU
    The want to come back home to you that tells you something right there.
    You children will always know where they are loved you gave them that.
    take care my friend please listen to what you have said to me okay and tell the demons in you head to go back where they came from hell
    im off to fight another battle so you keep fighting okay and let them all come home so they can be with the one they love.
     
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