really bad tonight. realizing that im closing my little guy out. hardly spent anytime with him tonight. my daughter wants to come tomorrow. i said she could but now dotn know. my other son wanted to come to but my daughter doesnt want him here. and my oldest son hardly ever hear from or see hui=im. none of them seem to have an ounce of love for the other and who do you think they learned that from? wanted to have so many things done and finished up by this wekend. wanted ot make others prouid. not even close. sitting here alone, feeling all the failures, all of them. and the one that causes the biggest fear..... my mental health issues. cuz i cant let go og them. ive had them with me for so long. they are me and im them. im scared to let them go. everytime i have before it ended up in yet another failure. and if i let them go then ill fail at this atempt i dont want to be like this. i really dont. but its all i know anymore so icant let go of my demons either. does anyone out there know what the hell im talking about? im so lost i cant see anything but what i need to.