Feeling my worst again

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by BipolarOne, Jun 23, 2014.

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  1. BipolarOne

    BipolarOne Active Member

    My depression is at rock bottom again. I want to die. I want to die now.

    This is the most awful period of my life. In the last month I have been in 2 different ERs, a partial hospital program, and in the inpatient unit of 2 different hospitals.

    I don't do well in the hospital setting. I become an ogre. I hate everyone and everything. The 2 hospitals I was in had terrible programs. The quality of care in hospitals has seriously declined. I cannot stand being in one. And here I am suicidal and belong in one. I just can't go there! I would rather die than go back to the hospital.

    I am afraid to call a hotline because they will just call the sheriffs. I don't want to call my psychiatrist because she will insist I go to the hospital.

    I can't do this any more.
  2. wozudichter

    wozudichter Member

    Hey, I understand how you feel, the hospitals are not always the best place to be. I just got out and don't ever want to be in there again. Hang in there.
  3. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi BiPolarOne,

    Please hang in there, you are not alone in your own. You are not alone in struggling with depression. You can cope with the support from the forum. Please keep yourself occupied and don't stay alone in a room. Do not over think as that does not help. Please feel free to PM anytime. We are here for you. Take care and keep posting...
  4. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    can't stand this.
  5. BipolarOne

    BipolarOne Active Member

    Thank you. I am hanging on.
  6. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Your welcome, take care and be safe.
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