I already wrote today so I feel bad for doing so again. It is apparent that things are not going to get better and this is already turning out to outdo 2010 as one of the worst years of my life. Aside from the bullshit from my family, not having a job or money, not being in school or seeing a way to ever finish college, and just all around life sucking, I got an email from my therapist. She is nice and all, but aside from asking me how im doing, she was wondering when she can cash the check from my last session...which was last march. so much has happened since, including my bank account being closed. I told her i was sorry, and that i am trying to make an effort to do so. what i didn't tell her is that i want to kill myself because i am sick of this shit. last thing i need right now is to be locked up somewhere and still feel like shit with nothing getting better. i dread her response, but i wish since i don't have the courage to take my life, then i had some alcohol. I have gone almost three weeks and now i have had it. and my family, as i have said in other posts, i am done with their bullshit hypocritical mess. they hold my shortcomings over my head and don't appreciate anything that i do around here. i have to sneak in the kitchen just to get food because i get nagged at. im sorry for opening up like this, but im done trying to make sense of this shit.